Books on healthy relationships for teens

[keeponspinning]

I've been reading some of the threads on here with horror and fear for my 13 year-old niece. I was thinking about giving her 'a talk' about the warning signs to look out for when entering a new relationship and some tips on how to make sure she is treated well in both future romantic relationships and friendships. I've never been in an abusive relationship but have wasted my time on a lot of d*ckheads and not valued myself enough and feel like I was 'groomed' at a young age by ridiculous romantic comedy love stories. Obviously I don't want to scare her or make her feel like the world is full of monsters but equally I want her to be able to recognise narcissistic and abusive traits and to make sure she's respected.The more I think about 'the talk' the more it seems way too overwhelming and serious for me to tackle in one go but I was wondering whether there was a book that would cover this stuff as it's her birthday in a few weeks.
Or if you have any tips what would they be?

Absolutely. But I would say it is an ongoing, lifelong conversation and learning process. Not just 'a talk'.

I would certainly tell her that people who are decent, will respect her feelings and never expect her to put their wants, before her needs though. Talk about people in general, not just boys. Because at this age she may start to meet frenemies too.

Talking to her about how to spot narcissists and the like early on might help too. Discuss how manipulative people often 'love bomb'. That people who are sane, give you some space and don't rush you or monopolise your time so much that you dont have your own time and space to think.

And that consisteny of our actions are what count, not just words. Judge a person when they prove they are good to their words.

And that when it comes to words, that we shouldnt make excises for people who hurt us. People who fail to appologise or continue their hurtful behaviour. That it is nota womans job to excuse means bad behaviour or look for the cause. If someone is mean to you it is often simply - because they are mean.

Talk to her about gaslighting and how to spot it. Make her aware that 'normal' folk dont gaslight, that it is the calling card of a predator.

Tell her, if in doubt - mumsnet :)

*shouldnt make excuses
*a mans bad behaviour

Brilliant. Some great tips there. Thank you. I was thinking about sending her this way! She is pretty switched on so I am hoping she won't be as daft as I was at her age. But I'm also terrified by how the world has changed since then.
I was aware of physical abuse at a reasonably young age but didn't learn about any of the more subtle forms until well into my 30s.

Talk about Ten Signs of Unhealthy Relationship

Escape the Trap is the alternative of 'Freedom Programme' but aimed at teenagers.

I think that the most dangerous abusive tactic is isolation.

Oh thank you! Brilliant.