How interconnected are your lives?

[Ritascornershop]

I’ve been divorced for a very long time and my marriage was not much to go off as my exh was an immigrant who never made many friends here, plus I was divorced before Facebook was much of a thing.

I’m wondering if it’s common to not only share friends but share Facebook friends? So are your mates from work who you are fb friends w also your partner’s fb friends? Are his friends from school also your mum’s fb friends?

Not judging, it’s just so alien to my experience I can’t quite wrap my head around it, and am wondering if it’s common?

No, our FB friends are our own, unless they’re people we’d actually consider mutual friends (of which we have a lot.) I’m FB friends with his sisters and he with my brothers, but we’re not friends with each other’s independent friends or colleagues or cousins or whatever. I don’t think many people are, are they? Not unless they live in a small town where everybody knows everyone else and therefore feels connected.

In terms of offline interconnectedness, we have a very big group of mutual friends; and it’s the sort of group where pretty much everybody has had sex or been in a relationship with pretty much everyone else at some point (well, maybe a slight exaggeration!) - so I’m very good friends with a few DP’s exes, he’s good friends with people they’ve dated or are dating, if he and I broke up we’d still have the same connected friends etc and it’s just a bit of a blur.

We have mutual shared friends on Facebook but also our own individual friends. It would be weird, I think, to have a friend on Facebook who isn't someone you personally interact with.

A friend of mine and their spouse have a ton of overlap and as they have kids and I know they spend most of their spare time at home I don’t see how they’d know each other’s work mates that well? Just trying to picture it ... it sounds mostly nice to be that interconnected as I don’t mean anything to anyone really (except my kids and somewhat to a few friends), but I also can’t quite picture it.

My DH isn't on FB, but if he was, we'd have a lot of mutual friends, because we've been together a long time and also because all my FB friends are 'real' friends (I don't have any colleagues on there for example). However, I'd find it very weird if every time I connected with a new person he added them as a friend too.

Only a tiny amount of overlap because we met working for the same company and some of my now friends are people he went to school with.

But in all honesty his friends are just acquaintances to me and vice versa. If we split up there wouldn't be a conflict of loyalty from friends.

I prefer having my own life. I can imagine I'd feel hemmed in if every aspect of my life was interwoven with my husband's.

Only overlap we have is family and maybe 2/3 mutual friends, no way I'd want to see all the crap his friends/work colleagues post and he feels exactly the same about mine