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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Problems leaving

2 replies

yellower2 · 08/11/2020 13:06

I need to get out of this environment it's making me ill, it's gone on for many year, emotional abuse but I do feel physically scared.

Problems with just leaving -
•Nowhere to go
•Have 2 children 11&17
•17yr old is autistic, he depends on me a lot and his behaviour can be challenging at times. There's no way he'd be allowed into a refuge with me and other son. There have been times his dad has lost his temper badly with him and I've been terrified it will get physical. I can't abandon him, I cant leave him in that situation, plus he doesn't handle change very well.
•We have a 4 month old puppy! He's great but a lot of responsibility.
• no family/friends
•limited savings
I feel trapped and ill. Husband won't leave. He works from home. Is at home 24/7. It's so hard to live like this. I need some hope. It all looks so perfect from the outside but it's an absolute nightmare inside. I'm pretty sure he's spying on my internet usage. Obviously can't prove it but things have been said that only he would know if he'd seen what I'm doing online. How can I tell this is happening? He uses something to monitor sons usage so I guess that's whats happening with me to. I'm worried if he sees this things will get worse. I'm using 4G instead of wifi but who knows if that works.

Anyone with my complications ever got free?

OP posts:
StephenBelafonte · 08/11/2020 13:21

You can apply through the courts for a court order to sell the house and split the proceeds once you have filed for divorce.

Some refuges provide separate live in accommodation so young men can stay there too.

Heartofgoldmumof2 · 08/11/2020 13:27

I am so sorry about your situation OP. I am sure lockdown has intensified things and I am sure you feel quite desperate. I would advice going to see a solicitor ASAP. Also contact Women’s aid telephone line. If the emotional abuse is directed at the children as well as you I am sure there will be court orders you can obtain to remove him from the house.

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