Scared to date

[Civilhelp]

I’m early 30s and want to date again.Haven’t been on a date for a year or so ( also because of the pandemic ). I want to try online dating again but I’m terrified of rejection. The last guy who asked me on date kept calling other women beautiful/ saying how lovely they are ( people who we both knew ).

Another guy told me he could be with me because I wasn’t pretty enough for him . Other men have made it clear I’m not their type but I’d do .
I’ve been trying to give myself a makeover. I just don’t feel I match up . I keep looking at other women and I know I don’t compare . I’ve been called unattractive before throughout my life so it’s a trigger for me . I feel like I’d need plastic surgery but even then I can’t compete .

Is there any way I can boost my self confidence? The knock backs have got to me so much but if I never put my out there I will never get heya I want .

Have you a good friend or counsellor OP who you can discuss your levels of self confidence with? An outside perspective - and not one given by shallow ‘dates’ - can help you refocus your self-image, and also to come to terms with where that image came from.

Its cheesy but you could try every morning when you look in the mirror, complementing yourself out loud on something. It can be anything, physical or not. Even just 'I like how you handled yourself during that mix up at lunch yesterday' or 'your skin looks good today'. Just something afirming.

Being nice to yourself makes it easier to be able to tell people who aren't nice to you to fuck off with their bullshit.

Youd also do well to read up on how to spot narcissists in dating. That first guy you mentioned that was talking about other women (to put you down btw) was one. Knowing how to spot them and walk away fast will save you a world of pain in dating. Theres a lot of his type and similar about, unfortunately.

But it is them who are lacking something. Not you.

If you’re terrified f rejection, I don’t think internet dating is for you!