Please can you give me some words of encouragement.

[Ilovetheseventies]

Been feeling really good lately. I had had alot of problems with the menopause but coming off HRT has actually helped me. I started a new job and a couple of really good hobbies and finally feeling good for several months now.
Last night I had an arguement with my DP. We don't argue much in fact the last time was months ago. He never brings up any issues. The arguement was started by me but I wasn't abusive or anything. It was over a film. I hadn't planned to but I was annoyed with him. He told me I had a chip on my shoulder and then took his things and walked out. He doesn't live with me. I asked him not to go and he knows that it is the one thing I cannot stand.
I just need to get through the next few days. I just feel as if I can never bring up anything or get annoyed ever as he never does. I just don't think it's healthy. I don't want to be moping around over this. Not after feeling so good and back to my normal self. Any advice or words of encouragement would help.

A lot of people are a bit stressed at the moment. If he needs a day or two on his own, I'd let himself get on with it.

Use the down time to plan Xmas or reconnect with some other friends or just have a few days pampering yourself.

Thank you mint Julia for Yr words of advice. Even though we've been together 3 years when we argue so much uncertainty gets thrown into things.
I just feel very down about it. I don't want to feel like this. We were supposed to be spending a couple of days with each other this week as we were meant to be going to Seville but that's cancelled.
I'd said if e fall out we shouldn't leave it too long before getting back in touch, it isn't healthy to drag things out.

Hi OP, it sounds to me as if you have very different conflict styles. He's a non-confrontational person who likes to avoid disagreements whereas you prefer to get things out in the open, is that right?

IME our conflict styles tend to be very deep rooted (often based on our experiences of how our parents handled their differences), so it's not as simple as saying "he knows it is the one thing I cannot stand" or "I don't think it's healthy" - both those statements are based on your own conflict style, which is different from his. Neither of you are entirely right or wrong, but you do both need to learn to handle conflict in your relationship in a productive way. DH and I went on a marriage course years ago, and one session (out of six) was entirely devoted to ways of managing conflict. Would you consider relationship counselling to improve your communication in this area?

I'm not sure I haven't brought anything up for months or had any arguments so I'm not sure how it could possibly work.
I know this is heavy stuff but when I was 11 my mums partner left after an arguement although that didn't cause it, my mother was in and out of psychiatric care for years. At that age I associated this with my mother's total breakdown.
I had a heart to heart with my DP saying please don't walk out on me. And gave him the reason. I try to avoid conflict.
I only said a couple of sentences and then he left. I just cannot cope with this I will have to finish it as I can't see an answer.
I had said if we fall out we should make it up and not let it drag on for days, even just a text to say hi I just need some space. I just think it's the end of the road for our relationship.