Name changed for this one and also not sure if I’ve posted in the right section, but couldn’t find a ‘friends’ sections.
A very close friend has recently had a baby. Was only with the dad for less than a year before getting pregnant. I have met my friends partner a couple of times and both times I didn’t like the way he spoke about her. First time she was heavily pregnant and he kept proclaiming she was so big, not in a nice way at all, hard to explain but almost berating her? second time asking me personal questions about her that I said to him were her decision, why is he asking me. Again hard to explain without giving too much detail but I didn’t like the way he asked me for my opinion about something which is solely up to her, not up to him or up to me.
He’s not a good dad at all. He’s selfish, he puts himself before the baby. He swears at the baby. I don’t want to disclose to much detail so I’ll make up a similar example, so for example he will take a shower after he sees the baby has been sick and leaves the baby in sicky clothes to have a shower. He’ll do things that show a lack of basic care for the baby.
I’m not sure if this is an abusive relationship. But I don’t like the way he acts to baby or to her. It’s made me really upset as she’s a good close friend, but I don’t want to make her more upset if I tell her I think she should end the relationship, and I think my role here is primarily to be a support and a good friend. I’ve already said to her that it’s not normal and not acceptable and she should speak to him, and that maybe she could stay with family for a few days. But I don’t know whether to go further.
So my question is, should I tell her my opinion?