6 months in so confused.Views pls.

[notmrscookie]

We met online and meet on social distancing dates and formed a relationship on the day bubbling was allowed.
I have 2 boys aged 25 and 20 .Was married for 20 years and divorced 5 years.
He has never been married, has no children .Has a relationship at college and a short relationship 15 years ago .He had a few dates before me but claims work and being shy stopped him having relationship.

He moved out from.his parents 6 years ago and part owns a flat which thr council help maintain if issues.
I met one of his friends and the most worrying thing is his parents havent acknowledged me in conversation. He said he has told them he is dating but they haven't asked anything. We went away sept and he said if it worked I would need to meet his parents.
Nothing else said. No pics sent of us to his parents. Just a pic of steam train.
My parents past away 30 years ago so he cant meet them ..
Am I over thinking,?

What are you thinking? Its not clear from your post what is actually bothering you?

Are you upset that his parents aren't actively encouraging him to date you?? If so that is a bit of a strange thing to care about or even think about imo

Can you share a little more about the relationship and why him telling his parents about you is so important?

How often do you see eachother, are you planning on living together? 6 months is still early days especially with lockdown and distancing

Why does he need to send a picture of you to his parents?? I think that’s weird that he would, even if you had met them!

I honestly think you're going to find dating this guy really difficult OP
The reason being he's not got the life experiences that you have. Him never being married, having children and moving out of his parents home quite late in life means he isn't going to have a lot in common with you.
Stuff you would view to be important he more than likely wouldn't even think about.
He's probably a lovely guy, but if he's not had a relationship since college he's quite far behind you.
Him not telling his parents isn't a major problem, but the fact he hasn't put your relationship before steam train pictures is very telling.

I think this man is a walking red flag, honestly. Everything you wrote screams RUN.

I am a keyworkers who works shifts .He works Monday to Friday 9 to 4 .we see each other when we can and he stay at each others .His friendship group is small and he is in a marching band and a small running group but no major feiends bexcept band mate and they work together. She is married and female.
We been away on 2 trips and were due to go away this week but cant.
He admitted he got me 2 birthday cards one normal and one girlfriend and gave me girlfriend one .
He will join anything i do if space as both members of national trust and He joined me on poppy selling I kinda feel like his social secretary He pays his way .wierdly he will.not travel alone but I will.

OP your posts are a little garbled, are you feeling unsure about his feelings or your feelings or both?

Sorry op I still am not sure what your question is. I suppose you feel uncomfortable with him? For what its worth, that alone is enough to end things. You don't have to have a massive well thought out reason, you can just decide you don't want to see him.

Thanks for bearing with me .
He is a really nice bloke who adores me but just doesnt give me the feeling of 100% commitment. It is like he has been single for too long and wants to be near someone and I do. He has very little to occupy himself with lately so is almost upset that i do have things to do .
I live in a house and he lives in a flat with no garden so he has enjoyed relaxing at mine over the summer .
I will just cut down calls and visits and see what happens.

I don't really see a problem with these particular issues. His parents don't really talk about you? Not an issue. He's a little old to be gushing to his parents like a teen with their first gf/bf and sending them selfies of you together.

He doesn't have that many friends? Some people don't. He has a few friends and he gets out and about doing social type hobbies, that's perfectly fine.

He doesn't travel alone? Hardly the crime of the century.

Is the problem that you just aren't feeling it and you don't like him? If so, that's fine, no need to justify it.

Cross post, if anything it's the opposite isn't it? He does seem committed and you are the one that isn't sure and wants to spend less time with him.

Nothing wrong with that, take it at your own pace obviously. But no need to justify it by saying he isn't committed.

Yes you are overthinking. Why on earth do you need his parents approval?

I'm a bit confused. He adores you but bought two birthday cards to hedge his bets.

I think his lack of relationship experience means he is taking it slowly, the 2 birthday cards thing could be because he was shy about calling you his girlfriend.

As for meeting his parents, 6 months is nothing. I've been with my boyfriend a year and not met his parents, lockdown has a lot to answer for.
He has met my parents and if i visit without him they ask how he is but i wouldnt say something as mundane as that to my boyfriend.

I dont know that you've become his social secretary or whether he is just enjoying the social aspects of your relationship and he clearly enjoys spending time with you so anything you do he is happy to join in.

Seems he's not the most sociable and has lived a bit of a sheltered life but it doesn't really seem there's anything wrong here other than perhaps you're not comfortable with this (which itself is fine).

I don’t understand what you’re worried about. He doesn’t have the life experiences you have, but he seems keen to spend time with you and you haven’t written anything that I would be worried about.

And also not meeting his parents might be an absolute blessing for now. I wish I could ‘un-meet’ my ex-in laws 😂