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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think my marriage is over

4 replies

Fatted · 06/11/2020 08:13

As the title says really. It's not been great since we had kids. We go through good times and bad times. We are both probably as bad as each other really, taking each other for granted, not spending enough time together, not making the effort etc.

I have felt for the last few months the only one making any effort anymore (initiating sex, planning childcare for time alone etc) has been me. When I talk to him he either looks like he hates me or just can't be arsed. Its got to the point where I just don't bother anymore because I'm sick of giving and getting nothing back.

It reached a head this week when he didn't want to talk to me because he was tired. He then sat up until the early hours talking with his friends on xbox. I told him yesterday I didn't want to live with someone who didn't want to make an effort to show me affection or attention. He has said its probably a good idea we have some space. He's moping around like a sad dog. I have nothing to say to him.

It hurts so much that he would happily let our family fall apart instead of actually showing me affection. Which just confirms what I knew that he doesn't love me anymore. I don't think there is anyone else. Just his precious xbox.

OP posts:
Fatted · 06/11/2020 08:14

Where do I go from here? I can't be bothered waiting around pathetically for someone to decide they love me or not.

OP posts:
Manxiety · 06/11/2020 08:24

Can you get a break op? It sounds like he needs a dose of reality and that he's acting like a child. I would first of all dig deeper and see if there's anything else he's doing that would change your feelings about him (check phone/email/Google history etc) then leave him for a bit of get him to go - whichever would be most uncomfortable for him.

He needs to experience life without you & the DC in order to re-appreciate it.

AbiBrown · 06/11/2020 08:53

Even if there was someone else, you're still in a miserable relationship with someone showing you contempt. Don't waste your energy on investigating this, I would start to look at the logistics of separating.

Fatted · 06/11/2020 09:52

I've already started looking into the logistics of separation. I have asked him to go somewhere else tonight. He went out for a walk last night and we didn't actually bother talking when he got home. Then buggered off to work this morning before I got up. So I don't know if he is actually going tonight or where if he is. I've asked him to tell me what he's doing so I can tell the kids. Just got told he wants to tell the kids too!

OP posts:
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