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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being unreasonable to move out

3 replies

Hatemyhouse0 · 05/11/2020 19:03

Me and DH have lived in our 3 bed semi ex council house for 5 years It's really ugly the drive is falling apart it has no kerb appeal what's so ever. DH won't spend any money on the house as he doesn't see the point when he won't make money out of it if I try to make improvements he moans and says I'm wasting my time . We have been to see probably 100s of properties he put offer in then pulled out after the survey cause he's worried about property dipping then the mortgage rates have now increased so it's going to be more expensive he says I'm forcing him and he doesn't care hes ok with here. He said why can't you be grateful you aren't homeless or living in a mud hut?? He says I'm a snob Well no I would be happy with anything that doesn't look like a concrete block.
DH earns 6 figures no one with his job has such a rubbish house he just keeps it all in the bank .
Even with my salary I can afford better
I don't think my mental health can take another lockdown here I absolutely hate it it's driving me nuts.
I'm even thinking of going and renting somewhere by myself with DD if he wants he can come along.

OP posts:
monkeymonkey2010 · 05/11/2020 21:03

i'd move - and NOT let him move with you.
He'd rather keep money in the bank than spend it on the FAMILY home and making your lives better......HE wants you to live in an almost derelict building.....

IJustWantSomeBees · 06/11/2020 09:52

Why is his opinion the only one that matters? Why is it his decision solely to make? Why is he content to let his wife and child live in an unsuitable home despite him earning so highly?

I assume that you're financially dependent on him from the way he is talking about how you should be 'grateful', I would suggest you get access to your own source of income OP. And to answer your question: no, you are obviously not being unreasonable.

frazzledasarock · 06/11/2020 09:55

I would not let him move in with me once I move out.

Then he will be keeping even more money in his bank account whilst you pay for everything.

Are you wanting to end your marriage?

Give him an ultimatum or leave him straight out.

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