I've been with my DH for 36 years, 24 of them married. We have 2 adult kids, one of them severely disabled who I gave up work to care for 20 years ago. He's now really settled in a residential college and loving it. Was looking forward to some time to self care and time with DH to rebuild our battered marriage.
Then, completely by accident and due to a password mix up, I ended up on his email account on the email providers web page. I scrolled through wondering why I didn't recognise anything of mine then realised I was looking at mountain of emails that shocked me. I found receipts of purchases of gifts he had been sending to addresses i didn't recognise. It started with jewellery, perfume etc but progressed to sex toys and fetish gear.
I have since found out these gifts went to people who must be not far off my daughter's age and he let slip that he had been to at least one of their houses. They all live locally. He denies anything inappropriate!!
He has also been spending hours on the phone to an old flame so it's pretty clear we are done.
What do I do now? Divorce is a definite for me as I had my doubts about wanting to be with him as I haven't felt close for a while and I have always doubted his honesty but never had the proof of anything. I haven't worked in 20 years and finding a job in lock down is going to be pretty impossible. I have to rebuild everything from scratch.
I am shocked, massively stressed and don't know where to turn.
If this was your situation, what would you do??