I need effective tips to help me get over this crush asap please?

[Rae34]

I've worked with a man for a while. I wont go into lots of detail but I was fairly sure he liked me & singled me out, we would go for coffee together after work events (instigated by him sometimes and me sometimes).

We were supposed to attend this mini movie festival in our city the week lockdown began(worth saying I saying him and he accepted). So that didnt happen! Lockdown began and we talked every day for.months until it fizzled out. With no life lived there wasnt much to say.

He doesnt message me privately anymore. He likes, loves (god I feel sixteen) & comments on my posts quite often but that is it.

I will be looking to move on from the job within the next year when I can. Tricky at work but something might have developed but clearly wont now. Regardless I find myself thinking 'what if' far too often & it is not healthy.

How can I nip it in the bud and get over it? Preferably before 2020 is over...

Worth saying I havent seen him at all since lockdown and there are no plans to return the office until March

Why do you have to give up on this crush? You can just instigate chat/video calls and show you are interested... Unless he's explicitly said he isn't keen, why not just pursue him so there's no what-ifs?

Could you not meet up outside of work for a socially distanced hang? Or wait till December when restrictions ease?

I wasnt going to put more detail but I doubt he is on mumsnet. So actually - I haven't seen him properly but I did see him across a busy street recently with a woman and I was with a friend. I wondered if he was on a date so didnt speak to him but also it wouldnt have been appropriate to stop him on a busy street in the current situation

Afterwards he said he was disappointed I hadnt stopped him (he was with an old school friend not a date) but understood. I then said you should let me know next time he will be in the area but he hasnt responded to that which I think isnt a great sign of interest. We are now just going into another lockdown anyway.

On top of that we work together and I dont want to look like a creep if he isnt interested.

We actually share the same hobby and have friends in common outside work so it is likely we will cross paths again. But for now I feel he hasnt given much back for months and need some advice on how to put my feelings aside.

Maybe turn it around in your head. When you daydream about it what is improving in your life? What non-him ways could you fill that same gap in your life?

Fair enough. When i get hung up on a crush going nowhere, I do just swipe on the apps, as even just chatting with new people reminds me there's a lot of men out there. I also think of anything negative about my crush and focus on that, so I don't get swept up in the misnomer he's amazing and the one that got away etc.

Finding a new hobby or interest always helps too as I get to focus my mind on learning something new and don't have mental time really to think about anything else.

It is so hard because usually I would just go to my dance class or go to an event but most of that is gone.

I went to an event last night (on Zoom!) and I am planning to get more involved. But despite that we spoke briefly this morning online and I've been thinking about him a lot since!

I think a negative point is he can be quite passive. He is very kind and funny and smart (sob...) but I appreciate people that do take the initiative more.

I just need to throw ice on the situation somehow. Being stuck indoors doesnt help.

He has aent a request to follow me on instagram. Oh dear. I have everything set to private. Dark horse.

Getting over the crush going well.....

Imagine him going for a really big poo. Properly imagine every single detail. The straining, the sounds, the smell as he squeezes one out.

If this doesn't work you really have it bad and none of us can help you.

he clearly likes you too. so accept his follow request. why not suggest doing zoom drinks or something? or a walk in the park?

I sympathise. I have a crush on someone I know through work too except I'm married so it won't ever go anywhere.

‘JovialNickname

Imagine him going for a really big poo. Properly imagine every single detail. The straining, the sounds, the smell as he squeezes one out.

If this doesn't work you really have it bad and none of us can help you.’

I have had limerence since February and I can tell you this doesn’t work!

I don’t understand why you want to nip it in the bud ? Why can’t you get into a relationship with him are you married ? If your single then just go for it and see

His ears must have been burning to send me that request after I posted here! We are both single but I feel the need to nip it in the bud because he was the one that stopped replying to me after months of chatting. Now we only talk at work (online) or briefly on Facebook, which imo is not the behaviour of an interested party.

He is a real gentleman too, so I seriously doubt he would make a move or a date suggestion while we work together.

I was the one that made the suggestion to do something together before remember. I would feel the need for him to reciprocate. I do think the work issue will be on his mind. But I still beyond that to the fact I will leave next year & we have lots in common outside work.

Maybe an elastic band would work? Ping it everytime I think of him? I tried the imagind him on the toilet thing, hate to say it didn't work...