30 Days NC worked for me!

[PuertoVallarta]

Just popping in to say to anyone who’s struggling to get over a break up and go NC now, it totally worked for me. I had never recovered from a breakup this quickly before, despite this having been the most out-of-the-blue and me having been in a very stressful and transitional stage of life.

It took almost two weeks to really cut contact. At first I stopped reaching out, and then I was peeking on social media. But once I blocked him and committed to NC, my mood and strength improved by leaps and bounds every day.

I just wanted to come on and share my success in case it helps anyone else.

Good luck to all of you going through a breakup. If I can get through it, you can, too. I promise.

Thank you for sharing this, it gives me hope

Excellent advice thank you. Something I need to do myself.

Thats brilliant! Did you find yourself still very tearful most days? I'm trying no contact and am really struggling! I get tearful and anxious when I think about not speaking to him or seeing him again, its truly awful.

@Mermaidwaves

Thats brilliant! Did you find yourself still very tearful most days? I'm trying no contact and am really struggling! I get tearful and anxious when I think about not speaking to him or seeing him again, its truly awful.

I am the same. As horrible as it is, I think it's just part of the grieving process. It's good to cry, get your emotions out - don't bottle them up.

I cried less and less, and by the third week I had no tears left.

I didn’t want to remove all signs of him from my phone, home, and life. However, once o did that I was truly better thirty days later.

@PuertoVallarta do you still get pangs of sadness? This whole process seems to be two steps forward, one step back for me - I go along fine for a while and then I'm a mess again.

I wish I could do this but but we have children, he left me and although he’s horrible and cruel I feel like I miss him it’s so pathetic. Reading this gives me hope though, I never contact him first and wait for him to contact about the kids and I’m very brief in my discussion, if he FaceTimes or calls the kids I stay silent in the background. He had them this weekend and his dad collected/dropped them back, so maybe I can get away with very minimal contact for now until I feel strong enough to see him and brush it off. I know he thinks I’m weak and would probably enjoy thinking of me all sad, so I don’t want any face to face conversation until I know I will be numb and act like I don’t care. Hope your all ok. @foreverlonely I’m only in my second week but I have days I feel I know this is the best thing that will happen to me, then the kids go bed and I spend two hours in a ball sobbing.. I think it’s just the natural grief, your mind letting go someone you thought was your future xx

@Cinders1234

I wish I could do this but but we have children, he left me and although he’s horrible and cruel I feel like I miss him it’s so pathetic. Reading this gives me hope though, I never contact him first and wait for him to contact about the kids and I’m very brief in my discussion, if he FaceTimes or calls the kids I stay silent in the background. He had them this weekend and his dad collected/dropped them back, so maybe I can get away with very minimal contact for now until I feel strong enough to see him and brush it off. I know he thinks I’m weak and would probably enjoy thinking of me all sad, so I don’t want any face to face conversation until I know I will be numb and act like I don’t care. Hope your all ok. *@foreverlonely* I’m only in my second week but I have days I feel I know this is the best thing that will happen to me, then the kids go bed and I spend two hours in a ball sobbing.. I think it’s just the natural grief, your mind letting go someone you thought was your future xx

I'm sorry you're going through this too. You are absolutely right - it's the grief of the loss of the future we both thought we were going to have with our ex-partners. But our thoughts of what our futures were going to be like were never, and could never, be a reality because clearly our exes were not on the same page. I know this and yet I still get upset? My emotional brain has not yet caught up with my rational brain. I actually feel very despondent about the future now xx

Well done.
Yes, it really works and helps.

My guy is with a new girl and I just keep torturing myself, thinking about them together. I know he spends the night with her and he never would with me. I'm awake right now thinking about the fact she has what I wanted with him, its so painful!

@foreverlonely I think you're right its better to cry and let it out, I just can't seem to find any relief from my hurt.

@Mermaidwaves

Honestly it takes time you very kindly posted on my similar post last week and I can confirm I am actually beginning to feel a lot better and slightly relieved

It's so hard though isn't it what we put ourselves through for toxic men

@foreverlonely it does help to hear other women getting over these men who don't deserve us. I'm glad you're feeling better thats great news

@Mermaidwaves @RantyAnty @feelingsadtoday2021 as time goes on (a week and a half for me) I find that I can busy myself/distract/reason with myself as to why the relationship ended for the right reasons, but at night time (now!) I really struggle. I try to empty my head but all it is filled with is thoughts of him - what he's doing now, what he's said to his friends about me, all the lovely memories of times we had together.

It frustrates me so much because I know he will already have moved on yet i am still here processing everything and unable to sleep. I haven't had a proper night's sleep since it happened. What i would give for him not to be the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last at night

Well done...that show's an amazing amount of self-restraint. I wish I could do that but I just can't. Weirdly we were supposed to go to your username in October! Is this some kind of fatalistic intervention???

@foreverlonely yes I too wish he wasn't my first and last thought each day. Sometimes I want to message stupid stuff like do you remember my name? Silly things to get his attention. He wouldn't reply to that anyway but it hurts to think they've moved on without a second thought.

Well I m on Facebook as well looking at the happy pics

It is getting easier and I do it less but the compulsion is there !

How long as it been ? I remember waking up and it being first thing on my mind

It's horrible you totally have my sympathies and the man I was seeing was vile to me but I still became obsessed!

Someone also said to me it's not the actual person you miss it's what you projected on them to be if that makes sense

I'm sure the actual person was a cunt
Not that helps with the obsessing

@Mermaidwaves

natashaadamo.com/does-he-miss-me-does-he-regret-what-he-did/

[quote feelingsadtoday2021]@Mermaidwaves

natashaadamo.com/does-he-miss-me-does-he-regret-what-he-did/[/quote]
I know this wasn't for me but I've just read it and it hit me HARD. Thank you

@foreverlonely

No problem and it was meant for anyone struggling to overcome some treatment by a toxic man !

I hope it helped in those early hours when you can't sleep and keep obsessing!

She wrote some other powerful stuff as well

natashaadamo.com/how-to-stop-seeking-validation/

Honestly I bet if we could all see each other's obsessions we would be horrified at just how terrible they all are

Wow that article is so spot on!! Its amazing! I can imagine him wondering why I've stopped chasing him as I was always the one to message first and show my feelings, which often he would ignore. He had all the power so I expect he has noticed.