Starting again

[Wondering1215]

I'm not sure what I want to hear. I'm happy to go into detail if necessary but I'd like to hear stories of truly starting over.

I've been with DP 10 years. It was truly love at first sight. We're now in our early 30's. 2 boys.

A lot has happened in this time. The stress of work, bills, kids, progression etc has been at the forefront of our mind since a year or so after being together. The honeymoon period was short-lived!

When we met, we were young and stress free. After our eldest was born we've been prioritising everything else other than 'us'.

It's come to the point where we have both acknowledged we need to sit down and talk about specific issues we've each had.

We very much love each other but the big things are swept under the carpet and only come up in arguments. It's frustrating because our arguments begin with minor issues that are easily resolved but we end up bringing up things from the past.

We've agreed to sit down and speak about one issue at a time. Acknowledge each others feelings and let it rest, forever. (So we can live happily ever after .

This is completely new to us. I've just read this post back and it sounds like I've got all my ducks in a row.

I suppose I'm asking for advice as to how to 'conduct' each conversation. Some major, some minor.

Starting over in what respect?

Splitting up and having separate lives or working to make the relationship better?

Have no experience but from an outsiders perspective I think couples counselling may be the best way to achieve this as although what you've written is very sensible, it may be harder in real life to actually achieve (in terms of listening to each other's feelings etc) without it turning sour.

Good luck anyway you sound like you have something worth fighting for

@onthedunes working to make things better.

We had our first son early on. All of the stress of living as a couple with a child fell heavily on us thereafter. We were, and I hope are, still young enough to figure things out.
Everything has got in the way since. We've worked opposite hours to avoid childcare until now.

Were now at a stage where we can spend more time together in the evenings.

Until now we've put everything aside. We want a strong relationship. I don't know where to start.

It appears like you both want to make the relationship stronger and that in itself is an exellent starting point.

Have you thought about marriage as you sound like your totally in love to me.

Your on the same page... go to counciling if you feel you need but really, its sounds like your doing pretty good to me.

I suppose it depends what the issues are?