AIBU?

[funtimestobehad]

So I am 7 months pregnant with a very active toddler (21 months). I'm a SAHM and do everything in the house as my husband works very long hours.

I haven't been feeling well this week, have been exhausted, running nose and struggling to sleep due to restless legs at night. My husband knows this and has been badgering me to make sure I take care of myself. I have felt like a crap mum as I haven't had the energy to play with my son as he deserves all day.

I call my husband at 5pm and he says he is leaving work early but has to stop at a friend's house to pick up a motorbike, but will be home by 7pm to help with bedtime. He also mentions that he is starving (he usually eats at work so I don't have to worry about feeding him too much).

So I spend the afternoon making homemade squash soup whilst my toddler runs like crazy round me and I struggle to entertain him at the same time. I am so so tired. At 7pm I call my DH expecting him to be nearly home (I live I. A place an hour ahead time wise), instead he tells me that he is still at his friend's house. When he got there they put pizza on the table to he HAD to stay. I asked why? Couldn't he have said that his heavily pregnant wife isn't well and he needs to get home? He can't believe that I am annoyed at him and accused me of creating a scene when I said that me and his son will be in bed when he gets home (prob around 8.30).

He apologised (it didn't sound sincere), and said that if I continue to be annoyed then I am doing it just to create drama and create an atmosphere in the house.

I'm now about to put our son to bed on my own and can't get past my annoyance.

Please be honest - am I being a drama queen?

He didn't even have the basic manners to let you know he wouldn't be home for dinner (did he know you had cooked?) or parent his child so you're certainly not wrong to be annoyed.

I think going to bed might be a bit of an over reaction - but if you're feeling tired and ill then it's fair enough.

I'm confused on whether you cooked the soup after you spoke to him and he said he was hungry, or whether you were doing it anyway?

I hope you and toddler enjoyed the soup and you feel better soon 🌸

You're absolutely right to be annoyed. He could have sent a text, it takes a few seconds! But it's not unforgivable, it's just a bit thoughtless. I'd have my say and let it go.....

I hope you're feeling better soon!

I’d be annoyed too but I wouldn’t go on about it. I’d only be concerned if he was like this every time you’re ill.

I understand your annoyance ( a bit) but if you are feeling unwell, tired and your DC needs a lot of attention then ditch the home made soup! You are creating work for yourself. You are not a crap mum, the energy and love you have for your kids means they will prosper even if you are not at full capacity and they don't get 100% attention. When the baby arrives your son will have to get used to some dilution of attention, if you try to be supermum you will wear yourself out. I'm not being funny but lower your expectations a bit. If you are poorly a day on the sofa and tinned soup will be just fine. Take care of yourself.

If there was an explicit conversation where you said that you’d be making dinner - I think I’d be annoyed.
But it seems that is was not communicated that clearly. He said he was hungry. You decided to cook and didn’t tell him.
As you don’t normally cook for him he probably thought it’s easier to eat with a friend than trying to sort something when he gets home.
Also - if I was that unwell, tired and busy with a toddler - I’d not be making massive effort to cook. Something simpler would have had to be good enough...

So - I guess in short - yes, you can be a bit annoyed. But after having expressed it, letting go and moving on is really the best.

Utter Prick...

go to bed OP 🌺