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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lockdown isolation

2 replies

Otter71 · 04/11/2020 15:05

Am I being ridiculous here ?
I have been with DP 18 months. He was on the shielding list last lockdown but is now my support bubble. I live apart from him with my DC who obviously attends school but is Asperger's like me and was social distancing before it was a thing. She does however visit dad who is less rules focussed than I. DP lives alone and works from home. I am a nurse, had covid in March before we got PPE.

We stayed apart other than garden visits until shielders were allowed bubbles in July. We are both tier 1.
I stayed with him yesterday as normal but he has decided it is too dangerous to continue and he can't see me til numbers go down to August level or until I can stop going to work... I have made it clear that I don't agree but can't see any middle ground.
I don't want to break up but if he really doesn't want the relationship to fail either as he says, I don't know if it is reasonable but have kindof suggested it shows difference in outlook due to differing experience, and I need to work through whether that is too much of a difference between us. I appreciate that many people are in jobs where they end up apart but normally that is known and or discussed.
Is anyone else in a similar place and able to offer support?

OP posts:
Cloudfrost · 04/11/2020 19:55

YABVU

litterbird · 04/11/2020 20:07

He's being cautious, he already has said he doesn't want to finish the relationship. 4 weeks apart with FaceTime calls, texts and phone calls will get you through this. Respect how he feels about this situation. Look at how you are feeling, are you insecure? He sounds like a sensible person doing what he feels is right for the circumstance and for all concerned. Are you unable to accept this? If not then you may not be the right person for him? I have many friends who will lock right down for 4 weeks and not see the light of day as they feel this is necessary for them and will not see any boyfriends or friends in this period and friends who will be out walking, chatting and seeing bubbles or just a single friend. Its a personal choice and needs to be respected.

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