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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I learn to be content again?

2 replies

Dontputyoureggsin1basket · 04/11/2020 12:46

I'm in a long term relationship. Got the house, kids etc. To be honest I love my partner as a friend and we've stopped being sexual. I sleep alone everynight because it's the routine we are in. He stays downstairs. Sometimes I say about us seperating and it upsets him he says. But in all honesty due to the lack of sex and time together alone I don't feel like I even have a love life. I feel weve naturally drifted apart.

I've muddled along for the last year this way. Happy enough but not in love in a physical way. Just feel there's kindness and team work but nothing else. We care for the kids and the house. But that's it.

I recently got talking to a man. He was making it clear he was attracted to me. Flirty. He was saying things to me Infront of another women. He was treating me very differently. Complimented me to this women.

I looked forward to seeing him everyday and was sad when he wasn't around. I was fully interested in getting talking to this man. But neither of us did any chasing to swap numbers and things. I suppose the opportunity has passed anyway. I perhaps won't see him anymore. But I can't snap out of it. I Can't get over the fact it has ended how it has. I can't get over the moments we had. I can't get over the fact he's gone. I only have his first name and have no way of tracking him down.

I just feel really gloomy and stupid. I had it in my head that things were changing. I was never wanting an affair so I purely wanted to chat to him and get to know him and discuss being just parents with friendship with my boyfriend.

I really did like this man. I don't usually feel the way I do. But I need to move forward properly.

Does anyone have any tips.

OP posts:
Aminuts23 · 04/11/2020 13:25

It sounds like emotionally you’ve checked out of your marriage. Your feelings (whatever they were) for this other man are just highlighting that.
I think you need to speak to your DH again as this is no way to live long term. Maybe you can sort out your marriage or otherwise make some tough decisions

FetchezLaVache · 04/11/2020 13:32

I think this business with the other man makes it clear that a) you're not happy living in a loveless relationship and b) you're in considerable danger of sleepwalking into an affair. Is it too late to try again with your partner? Either way, the two of you need to do some serious talking.

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