Anyone else?

[screamingchild]

My husband will just get up from the sofa and go to bed.
Before I go upstairs, I check the back door is locked.
I turn off the boys' lamps, and check they are tucked in.
I make sure the stairs are clear.
I turn off the fan in the downstairs bathroom.
I ensure there are no scraps of food left on the side in the kitchen.
Then I go to bed.
Anyone else with a husband who leaves the end of day routine to you?
It would be lovely just to go up to bed without a care in the world.

I could have written this post myself, DH was working in the utility room with evening and left the back door unlocked, which I discovered before heading to bed. It is usually always locked. Suppose our hubbies don't need to be responsible for house safety as we do it all!

This not with typo...

Yup. Every night he swans off to bed. I meanwhile put his plates and glasses in the dishwasher and make sure it's set to go on overnight, wipe his crumbs and spills off the worktops, check front and back doors are locked, switch off all the lights, you get the picture ...

@screamingchild, YES.
My h goes to bed leaving lights on and doors unlocked downstairs.
Dishes and washing up doesnt even enter his mind.
Lots more, my nisi is being pronounced on 3/12 so no happy ending for us.

Yep.... we live in an area that quite secluded and have never locked the doors, even when we all go out so that's not an issue but the lights and putting dogs away.....he works pm shifts mostly so I have to but it'd be a dream if he could on his days off

No because I married a grown up

Another reason I enjoy being a single parent tbh. Both kids have been trained to check/lock the doors before bed and turn off lights when they leave the room. They have their own chores to do as well. Way more than the XH used to do as he grew up with mummy doing it all and never changed.

Hopefully my future children-in-law will silently thank me!

I think I'm your husband

My exh used to to do this. He would often go to bed later than me (so he could message his OW) but the amount of times I got up the next morning to discover the front and/or back door unlocked.

I started ensuring everything was secure before I went to bed as I couldn't rely on him to keep me and our DC safe. Now he is gone it's no more work but I just don't have anyone to be constantly disappointed by. I also got a new front door that self locks and a ring doorbell for extra safety and feel much more secure than when he was here.

Yes, mine does exactly the same.
He'll happily stack the dishwasher after dinner, but any other time leaves bowls/cups/glasses on the side for the magic dishwasher fairy to deal with.
Good job I love him

Can you not say to him "it makes me feel really unappreciated when you go to bed and just expect me to sort out everything out. Maybe you didn't realise the stuff I do so I'm telling you now so that you can do some of it too, it's not fair it falls to me with no thought from you."

If he doesn't say "sorry I didn't realise" and start doing some of it from now on then he's a dick.

One of the numerous reasons I left. I still have all the chores to do. But they are solely mine. I no longer mind having to carry my mental load. As it's all mine. He was burgled 4 times after I left. He was, and still is, a lazy fecker. His place is a mess, to say the least.

Mine
That’s why i want to leave well not just why😅

So if you go to bed before him, he just leaves the door unlocked and the lights on? Why would an adult do that?

(Why make it about feeling unappreciated, rather than not wanting all your stuff to get nicked or the house burn down?)

He sounds selfish. We have a rule in our house. Last one up to bed (including our 2 teens) locks doors & windows downstairs and turns lights out. We live in London so sadly needs to be done. It works for us.

@Shoxfordian

I live alone and I just go from sofa to bed.

Start invoicing him for the time it took you to complete the pre-bed routine (minimum charge 1 hour at your normal hourly pay rate.) Or just stop doing it.

DH locks up and checks on the DC every night. Now I'm worried he's silently resenting me

I do all the checking inside the house...., my husband does doors/windows/lights.... Years ago I read something that said women naturally wake up if anything needed attention within the home (children/ pets etc,).... Whereas men wake up if they hear noise from outside the home ( have no idea where i read it and I have no idea if it's true).... But since then we have kind of did the same routine and it works.....

As you are getting ready to head up, Why not say, ‘DH, are the doors locked? Can you check whilst I wipe the kitchen counter down?’. We do the night time routine together - Unless one of us is super tired and goes up ahead of the other. But even then, I would be shocked if DH didn’t pop his head round the door to check on DS.