Angry men!! | Mumsnet

Bleughbleughbleugh12 · 2020-11-03T11:56:24+00:00

Just recently as a women on her own in a car have been abused by men in their cars, simple things like I pulled over to park or they believe it’s their right of way etc... not doing anything ‘wrong’ as such just difference of opinion and if I am wrong I always put my hand up to apologise but why do these men think because you are in a car it’s ok to abuse you??? I wonder if they’d still do it if I was a 7ft muscly man! Feeling fed up with it now! Usually around school time too and NEVER women!! Why???

PostItJoyWeek · 03/11/2020 11:58

Odd. How do you define abused? What did they do to you?

Original poster

Bleughbleughbleugh12 · 03/11/2020 12:21

Shouting and swearing through the window, hand gestures etc... just genuinely aggressive behaviour

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PostItJoyWeek · 03/11/2020 12:58

I don't share your experience. How often do you find yourself needing to raise your hand in apology to other drivers at school journey times? Are you being one of those drivers. Is it possible the women drivers are also mad at you but they do it by swearing at you more quietly?

formerbabe · 03/11/2020 13:01

The other day I was driving down a residential road at a normal speed...the speed limit. A guy behind me was tailgating me and driving really aggressively...I glanced in my rear view mirror and he did a gun sign at me

Original poster

Bleughbleughbleugh12 · 03/11/2020 13:29

@PostItJoyWeek had a feeling someone would try and do this 😂. No I’m not one of those drivers. I’ve noticed it more as I used to walk to school, now we are further away so I drive... it’s happened probably about 4 times since... annoyingly I’m a considerate driver and nearly always let people go, but during school time you sometimes have no choice but to just go!

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StartingAgainat31 · 03/11/2020 13:39

Eugh. I know what you mean. I was followed for miles the other day but this guy. Its a busy road and I was just following the traffic. He was right up my arse. He followed me onto a quieter road, through a 30 really close. As the got to an open stretch of the road he pulled really close behind me, pulled out. Gestured at me as he overtook and cut back in very very close. Pulled ahead. Breaked suddenly. And then sped off into the distance, until the next cat he found.

Initially he followed me for quite a long distance very close. As a single women its bloody uncomfortable if not threatening. But his actions were downright dangerous.

Mamadothe · 03/11/2020 14:34

I bibbed a car last week as he carried on driving over a wait mark and I had to break. He quickly looked up, stuck two fingers up then mouthed fuck off. Then as I was behind him he was moving his hands about to who he was in the car with then the passenger turned and looked at me so I just smiled at them!
Can’t believe he got so irate yet he was in the wrong. If I hadn’t have being looking to the left where he was then I would t have breaked and would have gone right into him the tit!

StephenBelafonte · 03/11/2020 14:53

Yes this happens to me all the time too, it's another form of bullying. I'm getting sick of it, and you're right, they wouldn't dare do it to a man.

frozendaisy · 03/11/2020 17:09

More common with men but coincidentally this lunchtime I was at a set of lights, could see the blue light in the distance coming at speed, lights turned green but I didn't move as the right turn feeder lane was clearly the best option for blue lights (paramedic car) to pass and a ratty woman in car behind beeped aggressively just as blue light reached us.

Ah see I had checked my mirrors.

I shrugged and to be fair she did wave apology.

We passed the car accident further down the road.

So it's not just men, it's mostly men.
My dad told me with tail-gaters slow down, if they do hit you you are at a slower speed or they'll overtake.

A local car with distinctive plates and ragamuffin male driver went flying past me on the school run, had eldest in car, just round not very distinct corner he was totally caught up with school traffic and kids, me and eldest rolled slowly up behind him, howling with laughter he must have been able to hear us! Deeply satisfying.

Original poster

Bleughbleughbleugh12 · 03/11/2020 17:59

Why is this though? Is the stress from the current situation accentuated the situation? If my husband did this to a women on her own I’d be very upset with him! Plus even if we are wrong or do something by accident surely a hand up apology is ok... and doesn’t warrant abuse back. I think the car gives people a false sense of security! Like keyboard warriors

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PaterPower · 03/11/2020 18:22

Unfortunately shit drivers will do this to anyone in a car, although I find it happens more when I’m in the smaller of our two cars.

I’m a fairly big bloke but I still get idiots tailgating, cutting in etc. Usually young men for the more aggressive stuff, but the speed limit on our local 20 zones tend to be treated as a suggestion and I’ve seen some very near misses during school finishing time, where the drivers are predominantly the Mums.

nocoolnamesleft · 03/11/2020 18:39

I had someone yell at me for getting in his way. He was driving the wrong way up a one way street, and I was going the correct way. So swearing at me was definitely not appropriate.

Original poster

Bleughbleughbleugh12 · 03/11/2020 18:44

@PaterPower yess! I have a tiny car! I did wonder if this is it too!! Also it’s usually middle aged men who actually look fuming already I have to say, never had problem with young men

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ThisIsNotARealAvo · 03/11/2020 20:43

I've noticed this, we have 2 cars, a hatchback and a large 7 seater. When I drive the mini I get so many men giving me hand signals to eg turn out onto a main road when it's not that safe, and then get really pissed off when I don't do it.

MyHairNeedsASnip · 03/11/2020 20:53

[quote Bleughbleughbleugh12]@PaterPower yess! I have a tiny car! I did wonder if this is it too!! Also it’s usually middle aged men who actually look fuming already I have to say, never had problem with young men[/quote]
If you drive a tiny car some idiots assume you can't drive properly. I used to drive a teeny tiny fiat and the abuse I got was unreal. Not so much when I drove the husband's blacked out Mitsubishi L200...

I drove the same in both 🤷‍♀️

MyHairNeedsASnip · 03/11/2020 20:54

[quote Bleughbleughbleugh12]@PaterPower yess! I have a tiny car! I did wonder if this is it too!! Also it’s usually middle aged men who actually look fuming already I have to say, never had problem with young men[/quote]
If you drive a tiny car some idiots assume you can't drive properly. I used to drive a teeny tiny fiat and the abuse I got was unreal. Not so much when I drove the husband's blacked out Mitsubishi L200...

I drove the same in both 🤷‍♀️

Whydidimarryhim · 03/11/2020 21:03

Oh yes I was intimidated by a bully (male) the other week. I regret not getting his reg and reporting him.
When they drive up my arse so to speak I put my hazard lights on - they quickly pull back or I pull over and let them pass.

Raidblunner · 03/11/2020 21:56

I drive a Sprinter van delivering all day and I see some of the worst behaviour from men and women. Aggression on the road gets you knowhere and potentially causes more accidents. I meet people on narrow lanes and if at all posible I will pull over or reverse for them. People often panic and are unaware of the width of their vehicles. What I usually do to difuse a situation is to turn my van off and get out and talk to the person.

johnd2 · 03/11/2020 22:05

I would have said the only category of consistently great drivers are lorries and buses but after an experience with a bus tailgating and cutting in on me last week I'll reduce that to lorries only.
When you have so much at stake you realise not to take others lives in your hands!

johnd2 · 03/11/2020 22:11

I would have said the only category of consistently great drivers are lorries and buses but after an experience with a bus tailgating and cutting in on me last week I'll reduce that to lorries only.
When you have so much at stake you realise not to take others lives in your hands!

Original poster

Bleughbleughbleugh12 · 04/11/2020 07:03

@johnd2 100% agree! Only ever experienced gentle men in lorries! Flashing me out, moving over before you even need to panic etc.. so thank you Lorry drivers if you read this 😂

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Original poster

Bleughbleughbleugh12 · 04/11/2020 07:06

@Raidblunner yep I think knowing your car is a lot of it too! Where I live its tight everywhere due to pavement parking, some people pull to the side to let people go, some people just go at the same time ( 9/10 two cars fit ), seems you can’t win though, if you pull over the car behind might have a fit they’ve had to wait... if you go... the car coming towards you might have a fit cause they don’t know their car and panic you can’t both fit... road rage is never the answer

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category12 · 04/11/2020 07:13

Get a dash cam, you can get them really very cheaply with front and rear cameras.

OK it doesn't stop this behaviour, but it makes me feel better - and if it's really bad you can send the footage in online. I've done that in the past and got a message back from the police after a while that the other driver had admitted fault and got dealt with appropriately.

Sometimesonly · 06/11/2020 21:55

A man really laid into me because I had the absolute cheek to stop to let an elderly man cross on a zebra crossing. Apparently I should have zigzagged round him. It was actually scary - people that angry shouldn't be on the road.

Closetbeanmuncher · 06/11/2020 22:43

Just blow them a kiss or give them the royal wave then watch them completely lose their shit 😂😂

Imbaciles.