ExH slept with a man before we got married....

[Babooga]

Ex and I are divorced and have 3 DC. We were together for 8 years.

I recently found out that when we’d been together for 6 months (before we got married) he had a fling with a ladyboy in Thailand (presumably a prostitute of sorts) while he was there for 3 weeks. Apparently they spent the holiday together. He did develop herpes shortly afterwards but said the doctor said it could’ve laid dormant in him for years...

Obviously he never told me. The friends he went with were at our wedding with their partners who all would’ve known.

I feel really fucking angry at the betrayal, furious he could’ve given me an std and embarrassed that all these people knew.

How go find out op? I would have an STI check. A group of men going to Thailand would have raised suspicions

I’d be livid too.

OP it's unlikely the female partners of his male friends knew as all the men would have been up to similar stuff and worse. Also you haven't said if any off them were and are still your individual friends.

In regards to his cheating and lies you have a right to be angry and upset.

I found out because his current partner told me. He had been treating her badly and we had a long talk, she said he told her I was aware and fine with it... I don’t suppose he thought we’d ever speak.

What’s the point in being angry at him though? Your not together anymore ! It’s crap But what outcome do you want?/ expect

Does it matter if if was a man, woman or other? Or where they're from? He cheated in the early days of your ex relationship. Why does it matter?

I get you are hurt op, but you have already decided to move on with your life. He shouldn't be able to hurt you so much now. How long ago did you divorce?