Anyone 'fallen in love' without meeting?

[Goodlockdownhair]

Firstly, I'm not one of those women who write to serial murderers in prison asking them to marry them!

I have been chatting to someone online (via dating app) for a month or so - we've progressed to video calls.
I work in A&E and I've been semi-locked down since we started chatting, I work crazy shifts anyway, plus covering for colleagues who are waiting for Covid tests etc which why we haven't met.

However, I feel like I'm falling in love with him. It's really embarrassing! We haven't even met, I don't know from photos/video chats if I will actually fancy him in real life.
I'm hoping we can meet for a SD walk at some point, but that's looking unlikely.

How do I stop myself making a fool of myself? I am picturing a future with this guy and we haven't even met.
He's not my usual type - which is a good thing, but his personality is so attractive to me.

All pure fantasy and if it doesn't live up to your expectations you are going to be very disappointed.

I met someone online 10 years ago, we talked for 18 months (we lived in 2 different countries), before meeting. I was in love with him after a few months of talking. We are married with a lovely child now.

@Orkneys

All pure fantasy and if it doesn't live up to your expectations you are going to be very disappointed.

How can you say that when there are several people (me included) on the thread recounting real life experiences of when it has happened to them?

It’s not the norm, but to say it’s pure fantasy is nonsense.

I am sorry you have never been fortunate enough to experience it. Your post reads like you have been caught out, are bitter, and just can’t believe anyone else can be.so lucky.

@Goodlockdownhair After 3 or 4 weeks together. (Each week was interspersed with more time apart as we lived far away from other). We talked for more than a year online.
Normally I'm a very normal, rational, sane person but we were in love and love makes you make crazy decisions. Lucky for us it worked out, but I know we are the exception, not the norm.

Online relationships can progress really fast because it’s all in your mind. You havnt had the reality of being around this person physically.

My friend has very intense online relationships and when they actually meet it fizzes out with in weeks and she is left (sometimes) broken hearted.

You don’t really know this man. You both only show each other what you want to promote on screen or by text.

I’m not saying it won’t last but you need to physically spend time with people to see if your actually a good fit.

Cool it down a bit. Protect yourself.

I wouldn't be broken hearted, but I will be sad and disappointed, which is fine, I can live with that.
It's a really nice distraction from everything else that is going on.
I thought I was perfectly happy being single, but this has made me realise I am lonelier than I would admit.

He could be married or a scammer OP. Why haven't you met? Make it happen. Even once we're in lockdown you can meet one other householder outside for a walk. This is how scammers lure you in. Get a grip!

More or less. We were aware of each other but never had really met, buy we started chatting online. We had a mostly online relationship for a couple of months. We're very happy and we now have a baby, a house, and we're getting married in a few months :)

Those saying it’s impossible just haven’t been there

You clearly didn't bother reading their replies before you jumped in feeling all defensive about your relationship.

I have been there. I believed I had fallen in love with him.

And then he trafficked me and raped me.

I wasn't in love. I was vulnerable and groomed.

I am not alone but most women who have been through my experience aren't going to feel able to post about it. And some of them were murdered so their voices will never be heard again.

Threads like these always attract the exceptions desperately wanting validation for their own relationships. It's not balanced. Some people have extremely damaging experiences like mine, most (thankfully) simply have very disappointing ones.

Fact is, you do not really know a person you have not met. If it turns out well once you do meet and get to know each other properly - great.

But don't turn this initial fantasy of being "in love" into an even greater fantasy of being whisked off your feet to take all your troubles away. It's perfectly possible to be in love with the idea of a wonderful change in your circumstances but that's not the same as being in love with a person.

It is nice that a few people have happy stories but that does not give anyone the right to diminish or discredit what happened to me and women like me.

You totally can. I told my husband I loved him before I'd met him in person. Went spent a few months talking every day before we met and have been married for 18 years now.

He's groomed you.

What if he has bad breath?? Or turns out he’s lied about his height

It’s a nice fantasy OP, but be prepared for the realities this man might present!

You’re going thru a stressful time. It’s a nice thing to cling to. I do hope for your sake he turns out to be nice with nice breath and at a height of your preference

I thought I had, we met and I found him attractive etc but it's all gone downhill now

I met someone after talking for a few weeks, he told me he loved me. He was just love bombing me. It's all a fantasy op. We fill in the gaps. I know he would be an utter nightmare to live with.

@Bobbitybobbityboo I'm so sorry to hear your experiences, thank you for sharing because I know there are some disgusting predatory men out there.
I be take precautions and am careful not to reveal exactly where I live (he only knows which city) and where I work etc.
I would only ever meet him in a public place if we did meet etc.

A lady I used to work with did. Early 1990s, before the internet. She was secretary to a department in a big university, and used to arrange all the staff travel with a travel agent over the phone. They try sent out the require tickets. She’d been chatting to the sane account manager for several years but have never met him, but always used to say that he sounded like a lovely man. One day, she needed tickets in a hurry, so he dropped them off at the end of the working day. So they met in person only after about 4 years. They were married just over a year later.

@workhomesleeprepeat I actually think he's too tall, I'm a bit of a shorty, so I wouldn't mind if he exaggerated his height!

Bad breath on the other hand is a deal breaker.

My college landlady 'met' her husband when she was a war-time telephonist and based up in the Highlands in Scotland when he was a soldier. He said he fell in love with her voice at first hearing of it. She was won over by the calls. They were still happily married when I met them 50 years later.

I thought I had fallen in love, but turns out that both of us were projecting what we wanted on the other. In real life there was zero chemistry and tbh we didn't really like each other that much either.

I'm one of the 'I thought he was The One until we met' brigade. He was funny, sweet, warm, attentive and charming online. After 4 months we met. He was wearing a stained t-shirt and dirty jeans, he smelt of stale sweat and cigarettes, his teeth were brown, his fingernails were nicotine yellow (he'd told me he was a non-smoker) and he was half drunk. He proceeded to get completely drunk over the next hour and I left.

It was a bizarre feeling. The man I met bore no resemblance to the man I'd been chatting to. Online chemistry is totally different to the real thing.

I will tell u my story...
We met online, a few messages back and forth then he asked for my number. We WhatsApped, after a week we spoke on the phone then he would phone 4, 5 or 6 times a day to the point of actually doing my head in. I didn't want to get carried away because we don't know each other. We met a few weeks later, he was very attractive, manly, beard, dark hair brown eyes. I was disappointed tho with his reaction in me. He walked off towards a pub we were going to go in and seemed unbothered. He then said u haven't kissed me yet and kissed me. But sat with him I tried to hold his hand and got nothing back, he kept looking into my eyes but there was no feelings. Then on his way home he phoned about 4 times, messaged saying he was missing me already. Very confusing. I'm now pretty sure he's a narssisit and any nice comments were an act.