Why can't i stop thinking about him!?

[Nobodyknowsme101]

Had a nearly 2 year fwb relationship a few years back, he met me with the intention of fwb and i said i was open to that or more. Eventually i did start to want more and to save my feelings i backed off, we eventually stopped talking and i moved on.

I met my DP and we have a DC now, but since i stopped speaking to the fwb i can't stop myself thinking about him every now and then and recently all the time it's doing my head in!
We spoke a while after the whole stopping contact with each other and he said he was gutted things hadn't worked out and that he knew he wasn't good enough for me (proper relationship wise) so its not like we even have unfinished business.

Why does he keep popping up into my thoughts!? I'll randomly wish he would text me or i could bump into him when i'm in his neck of the woods it's driving me crazy. I dont have his number and we are not in contact/friends on any social media so its not like im even reminded of him regularly.

Am i going to keep thinking about him forever??

Maybe you are missing the excitement you felt when you were with him?

Yes you might be right, we didn't speak in detail via text, it was more like just to arrange when we'd see each other or the odd message here and there throughout the day so i used to get excited when i'd see i had a message from him as it wasn't messaging 24/7.
I suppose having a proper relationship and a young DC isn't as exciting, i just dont actually know how to get him out of my head.

It is so hard this OP ...I am happily married now for 10 years but OMG my mind an dheart races when a certain someone randomly pops up in my head. I go for days,weeks,months even not thinking about him then something will happen and its like I need him and he is not there but then my head is all over the place and right back to where we were many years ago....The only thing I can say is he contacted me right out of the blue about 3 years ago and I had sort of dreamed that one day he would and he did and well it just wasnt the same..it didnt feel the same.certainly not anything like I had imagined it would.I looked at my husband and my dd and well things all fell into place ..what I needed and who I loved and where I needed to be. I felt free afterwards after so many years ...I hope the same happens to you. I could have gone back and ruined so many lives with a fantasy in my head ...I am glad I didnt...Remember him with kindness and fondness but if it was meant to be it would have been...it wasnt though. I love my memories but I now know the reality was very different and my life would have been very different...It hurts it drives you crazy but I suspect where you are right now is where you are meant to be. If you need to talk to get it out of your system pm me ..we can share and compare and maybe find a way for you to let go too if it helps any. My story was crazy but all consumming now its just a distant memory, a happy one but very distant.

Are you happy with your DP? Are you content with the direction that your life has taken? In my experience we often crave the past when we are not so content with the present

@lazylump72 thank you so much, it really does sound like you know exactly what it's like and how im feeling right now!
Like you have said I know that even if he did contact me now or in a few years time it wouldn't be as amazing as the idea of it I've got built into my head but a huge part of me wants him to contact me anyway.
There is no future to me and him so I need to focus on the future I do have and hopefully can keep him from invading my thoughts.
Thank you I will PM you if I need to x

@IJustWantSomeBees I suspect you might be right, I'm not unhappy as such but I do feel like the sort of 'honeymoon' period of the relationship is over and we are into the same daily routine of life that things are not so exciting anymore.
Perhaps if I address that issue he might get out of my thoughts!