I'm in a relationship which started just before the pandemic hit (we were close for a long time before deciding to commit). It was hard not seeing each other for months during the original lockdown, and we've been each other's support bubble since that was allowed. We see each other as often as possible - restricted a bit by work and kids, but still fairly regular and all went on holiday together in the summer. Everything's been going great, despite the challenging external circumstances.
With this new lock down announced apparently her mother has asked her if she's going to bubble with her or me, and then asked me if I'd be bubbling with my parents this time. I was a bit surprised that the the bubbles were even in question:
- In my eyes we were already were bubbling with each other,
- She doesn't have a great relationship with her mother, although it's ok at present. They get together once a week for dinner, and that's about the extent of their usual contact. She's not dependent on her mother for child care or anything like that,
- Her mother (who lives with her bloke) has been bubbling with her other (single) daughter anyway - regular overnight stays and child care,
- My parents (and rest of my family) live 300 miles away. They are currently down here visiting (staying in the next town), but probably cutting their visit short to go back before lockdown kicks in. So I have no one else to bubble with anyway,
- We've booked to go away together over the Christmas break (chance it might get cancelled anyway, but definitely not allowed if we're not in each other's support bubble).
Anyway, I replied explaining that even if my parents did decide to stay, I wouldn't be bubbling with them regardless - they're in their 70's, and I think it's too risky for them to be around my kids whilst still going to school. So as far as I'm concerned I'd carry on bubbling with her. To which she replied that she's told her mother that she'll bubble with her.
Naturally I was a bit miffed by that and questioned it. She apoligised and said she'd misread my message. Now at this point, if it were me, I'd apologise to mother and explain it was a mix up. But she basically just shrugged it off and is going to go through with the arrangements!
So that means we can't see each other at all for at least a month (quite possibly longer, the way things are looking). And after that we might be able to meet up, but no overnight stays or going away on holiday together. She made out that she was suprised at that, thought we'd be able to go back to seeing each other, from December. How she could think that social distancing will be abolished after this lock down and the country goes back to being completely normal, I've no idea. 
Having looked up the rules on support bubbles, rules clearly state that once you've formed one, you can't change it. So officially we won't be able to get together again until social distancing ends. Who knows when that'll be? Next summer at the earliest I suspect. And after lockdown we'll rarely be able to meet up because our kids together push us over the rule of 6 as well. I'm not sure I can cope with a relationship that exists only by messenger for that long, we've been there before (as friends), and I just end up feeling like I'm only there for her emotional support when she needs it.
Am I right to be a bit confused by her decision? I find it difficult to believe that she doesn't understand the implications of it. So I'm wondering if she's actually calling things off, without actually saying so?
I've pretty much abolished any social contact with friends to keep my circle small and minimise the risk of catching the virus and passing it on to her. Yet now I'm left in a position where not only does it look like the relationship is effectively over, but I'm now going to be stuck in lockdown with no adult contact or any prospect of forming a support bubble with anyone else. And will be alone through Christmas too as this year, my ex is having them Christmas day.
Not sure if I should take more of a stand, but that would be at risk of appearing to try and come between her and her mother. I don't believe in ultimatums, and it could just make things worse. But I don't really want to just suck it up and be kept hanging for 6+ months either.