Just had sex with partner for the first time

[IgorThalia]

I came out of an abusive relationship a couple of years ago. I've been seeing someone for three months or so and we have both been avoiding sex a little bit. Yesterday, we had sex for the first time, and it was lovely. I was so nervous. I think he was too. I hadn't had consensual sex for around 3 years. I really had issues letting go though. I feel really proud of myself for allowing myself to be intimate again and waiting until I'd found someone who I felt comfortable with. Is it normal to feel really tense and struggle to let go when with a new partner? I always used to be so confident but after having a toddler and coming out of an abusive relationship, I feel like my relationship with sex has changed hugely and I'm not sure how to learn to let go again.

Congratulations! 😃 It completely 100% normal to be nervous, after having a child and with your history, but loads of communication and go at your own pace and you will be fine. It's great you had such a positive experience the first time, now it's only going to get better from here.

Completely normal. Glad it went ok. xxx

Totally normal given your history. I think you were brave.

Wow. You are so brave.

Thanks all.

Congratulations!!! You rock, go girl! You should be so proud of yourself and what you’ve overcome, and taking a big step like this.

Sounds like you did the right thing with the right person. Delighted for you!

Congratulations! I've been in a similar situation and it's taken me a year and some sexting over lockdown to really relax with my new partner. If you are up for it, sexting really helped me to think about things I would enjoy doing but without actually having to do them (if you see what I mean). So we could explore our sexual relationship in a very safe way.

Well done to you and I am so pleased you have made it through the dark times. I am not sure if this man will be more, but I hope you it shows you were correct to LTB and that you are worth and deserve more.

Completely normal OP. Glad it worked out well for you.

Not the same but I had issues with sex in my long term relationship, not due to abuse in the relationship but for other reasons and I'd struggled to have sex when younger due to abuse as a teen.

When I got with my new partner, I assumed I'd have the same difficulties but this time I was determined to overcome them and I realised a lot of it was psychological. Turned out I'd been worrying for nothing and all my previous issues were gone and I fully realised what had caused them in the first place. Being with my now DP, who I really liked and wanted made a big difference.

This relationship is far better and I've had no issues at all so I hope it works out for you too OP!

ooooh, imagine the fun and pleasure of learning sex all over again from the beginning :-)

You will be fine OP bet your partner was feeling the same too. Its not easy that first time. I think you wil find next time so much better to handle. Just have fun and enjoy getting to know each other intimately. Well done for being brave now next step go get him and show him what he has been missing all these years!!!! Have fun!