Lockdown breakdown

[Purley1]

I am 33 I have a partner of 10 years and 2 beautiful children age 2 and 4, before lockdown our relationship was on the rocks we are both good people but our personalities clash at the best of times and then it came all 4 of us 5 including the dog where in a 24 hours a day, it got the better of me.
I ended up I hospital due to stress and he was not bothered, it was at that point I called it a day and he went back to his mums, 2 weeks later he came back and we decided to give it another go which lasted about 3 weeks, since May weve been in separate bedrooms and and are friend zoned but have been getting on really well.

We have agreed to separate since agreed to that in May recently I have been in contact with an ex who was the one who got away for me and always has been but after a couple.of.messages things have phased out, I have found a house for.me and the children and the dog to live in, I work 2 jobs and always welcome everyone with open arms i wear my heart on my sleeve but don't seem to be getting it right at the moment. My best friend has emailed to say she dosent want to know me anymore because her own family come first my family are becoming resilience because the donrt want us to spilt.
All I want is a friend to put things past or just to check in on me like I do with everyone else, im starting to feel that no one wants me,
I'm 100% confident that the split is right and im happy to continue to work my jobs work around the kids I dont want to look back in 30 years time and realise I shouldn't of stayed with someone just for the sake of it, im fully independent.

How do you deal with loneliness and the thlught that no one wants to be a best friend

Any advise would be greatly appreciated

My advice is to continue with your split and get yourself a new friend ! Keep charging ahead x

Wow @ your so called best friend. What an absolute cow. You are better of without her. She is no friend.

Well done with moving ahead though. Keep your head held high and so not look back. You have 100% done the right thing.

Don’t listen to your family OP. It’s your choice and you will know what’s best for your own family do what makes you happy.

Does your “friend” usually communicate through email?

Thank you all so much you guys have filled reassured me that im doing the right thing, its just awkward because I see her twice on the school run each day. I feel really awkward but ive done nothing wrong but provided her with a great friendship this has come completely out of the blue xxx thank you again xx

Reading between the lines, be careful that what you call heart-on-your-sleeve doesn't come over as deeply needy to others. In stressful times a lot of people want to minimise emotional interaction and keep things bright and breezy and superficial. It's their way of coping. You ended up hospitalised, which must have been extremely traumatic for everyone around you as well as for you. I am so sorry for you that this happened, but it's incredibly challenging to support someone with this level of need during a crisis when you are barely managing yourself.

I'd be kind to the friend and say, 'I understand.Tough times. Lots of love to you and yours.'

You sound like you are doing abrilliant job friend zoning with your partner. Don't underestimate what an achievement this is, or how valuable it is to your DC. There was a grerat article in Sunday papers yesterday about how friend-parents are often better at it than partner parents. If you can make that work during lockdown you should be seriously proud of yourself.