I haven't had sex for a long time

[Got2namechange4this]

Maybe over 15 years.
I'm mid-Forties.
I'm dating for the first time in 15 years and I'm scared of the intimacy aspect and I'm worried that the last time I had sex was pre-widespread internet porn.

I'm actually terrified. The idea of sleeping with someone really scares me. I haven't had any bad experiences- it's just been so long.
I use sex toys, but not penetrative.
Sorry for posting thread on this board not the sex one - but I can't face that board!

I think it won't matter if you meet the right person. They will be kind and considerate.

I didn't date in years (am 43 now) and a lot had changed when it comes to fingering techniques men used (more internal now- quite lame I found) and condom use, which you will have to absolutely insist on if it's important to you, as a lot of them don't bother.

But if you meet a decent guy they will put you at your ease.

Keep an eye out for red flags and bin wrong'uns early on. xx

Snap OP. Except I’m 50. I’m terrified too but starting to think about dating.

One of the ways to decide, in the moment, whether to do it or not with somebody, is if you feel relaxed or if you don't. You might feel scared now, conceptually, about it, but if you feel scared when it comes to it, you'll say no, because that's your instincts telling you either not now, or not this person.

So you won't actually have to do it if you're scared/worried/anxious. You just have to find someone you can relax with, who respects you. Nobody decent will be pushy, so feeling a bit nervous is a good git-filter.

Can you guys come with me?!?
I know you're all right, but I do want to have sex, I used to really love it - I've only had sex within relationships, whereas now dating seems to be so much more casual and it seems like your expected to have sex almost immediately?
A bad relationship destroyed has my trust and I want to heal, I know I won't make the same mistakes again, but I need to lower my barriers.

Fingering techniques have changed?!

Sorry gottonamechangefotthis 😆

it seems like your expected to have sex almost immediately

So what if you are? If anybody, anybody 'expects' you to have sex before you're ready, then a) they're not right for you and b) you tell them to sling their hook.

The right person to have sex with is the one who respects your needs. Your wants. Your feelings. Don't have sex with any of the others.The respectful one is the only one you'll want to have sex with anyway. Maintain your boundaries.

I need to lower my barriers

They are your boundaries! Why would you need to lower them?

Is mid 50s too old?

It's been 9 years for me as a single mum with SN DC.

Prior to my last bf I hadnt had sex for 9 years, but the sexual chemistry was totally there with my bf and we made up got all the lost time.

Nothing had changed, it's like riding a bike 😁