Online Dating? Red Flags? Lockdown?

[winterdreaming]

I’m 28 and most definitely not new to online dating. I’ve met my last 2 ex’s on tinder and to say I have a terrible track record with dating would be a understatement 😂 anyway, I recently made the switch to bumble and starting talking to guy who seems nice enough, but like i say- I have a terrible track record so god knows whether my judgement is impaired or just none existent. He’s 10 years older than me, he sends long attentive messages which he’s clearly put a lot of effort into, always thanks me for messaging him and telling me how kind i am and how he’s punching above his weight (100% not true at all!) and is already planning our 2nd/3rd/4th date (although our first date isn’t till next week!). The only thing I could maybe fault him for is being a bit full on but maybe enthusiasm can be refreshing 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway, I’m terrible at noticing what should be concerning during online dating and now lockdown 2.0 is here I don’t even know how to navigate dating through this? Surely it’s going to be more difficult? Any advice or thoughts on online dating in general or lockdown dating?

No idea but if he is being to full on that can be a red flag so preceed with caution op

Well if you're planning on obeying lockdown then you won't be able to meet in person until its over, which probably won't be til next year.

I would carry on chatting in that case but keep conversation short and fairly superficial and don't bank on it going anywhere once restrictions are lifted. This could be a good time to line up a shortlist of guys to date once restrictions are lifted.

Regarding him planning more dates already I'd likely say something like "whoa there fella! Let's see how date 1 goes first!" If he doesn't take heed of that, I'd see it as a red flag - I would think he's a bit unrealistic and the type to build things up massively in his mind, then ghost you when the date falls flat.

Hellllll no.

He hasn't even met you and he is planning future dates...creepy.

Also the 'I'm punching above my weight' said one time...maybe I could take as a compliment but alongside the other thing...nah. He sounds like a love bomber.

...and just noticed you said 'full on'. Yup. Listen to your gut when it gives you this warning, always.

Massively off putting. It’s not up to him to decide the course of your relationship and by talking about future dates before you’ve even met he’s trying to take control already.
Seriously, why would anyone do this? Think about it for a while - at best he’s desperate, full-on and over enthusiastic, realistically he’s a love-bombing control freak. Would you want a man who makes assumptions so easily? He might not even like you when you meet, yet he’s already planning future dates? The chances of meeting and both feeling sufficient chemistry/interest to meet again are (being realistic) pretty low with online dating.
I had an opening message on Tinder from someone saying ‘so where are we going to travel to when covid is over?’ - that annoyed me when we haven’t even met!
I’d bin this one off and find someone who is willing to go at a pace to suit you, not to suit them.

Reading it back, that’s not meant to sound harsh, sorry if it does. I’m just annoyed at men who behave like this online

He sounds like a twat

His ott compliments, (he hasn't even met you, ffs), and his "eagerness" are both massive red flags.

Come on, op. You should know this guy needs a hard pass.

Red flags all over I'm afraid. OTT with messages, planning too far ahead. I bet he's OTT with complements too when he hasn't even met you yet. proceed with extreme caution.

Class A love bomber/control freak/ desperate for sex

Red flag whatever.