He wants me to dress sexier

[4starbie]

So my boyfriend is constantly suggesting I wear certain things. I've got some very sexy clothes that I do love to wear, however I'm 6 months pregnant and although I wouldn't say I don't feel sexy, I just don't feel comfortable in little tight dresses ect right now. I feel a bit silly? He has asked me ALOT to dress up for him and I've told him every single time that I don't feel comfortable while I'm pregnant, but he just keeps on anyway.
It's not like our sex life is vanilla either, we do it several times a week, probably more, and it's definitely not boring!

So last night he asked me again to dress up and this time I got upset because I'm so sick of telling him why I don't want to. I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough, not sexy enough...
I've never been a self conscious person, I quite like my body and always have, I don't even mind it pregnant to be honest, but him pressuring me is making me feel insecure. He did apologise, and said he does get it now but I feel like the damage is done.

Am I overreacting? I just feel crappy.

He is being unreasonable and should respect how you feel.

He’s being a cunt. You are not a sex doll. Do you feel able to tell him to fuck off or are you scared of him? Do you ever have sex when you don’t want to, just to ‘keep the peace’?

No, you are not. He is pressuring you to do something you don't want to do. You were great for standing up for yourself.
Don't let him make you feel insecure-it's how you view yourself that counts, ultimately.

While you are pregnant maybe he can dress up sexier to make up for it !!
Anyway you know as well as anyone else how utterly ridiculous he is being ...

Well that’s ridiculous. I love how my body looks while I’m pregnant (I’m 38 weeks) but would not feel comfortable in ‘sexy clothes’. Since bump starts showing it’s all about big, comfy pants, elastic aged waist bands, longer tops or wrap dresses. Not what I would usually wear at all but it’s how I feel comfortable and look nice now.

I don’t think you are over reacting at all! I’m glad he’s apologised but it should not have taken you getting upset for this to happen!

No you're not overreacting. It sounds like you have made your point over and over again and it's taken you getting upset for him to take your 'no' seriously. This really isn't on and doesn't reflect well on him as a person tbh. Sex should be fun/dirty/loving/mutual/whatever for BOTH participants. He doesn't get to demand what he wants like a spoilt toddler.

If his apology is genuine, you will hopefully see a real change in his attitude towards this issue. You sound like a lovely, confident person OP - don't let someone else make you feel 'less than', even if they profess to love you and you love them.

No I'm not scared of him and I've never felt pressured to have sex when I don't want to. In all other ways he's a good boyfriend in general. I don't have a problem dressing up normally, but with the bump it just doesn't feel sexy to me. I know deep down he's being unreasonable but he was starting to make me feel like I was overreacting. We're going on holiday tomorrow and now I'm not even looking forward to going because I feel like I'm expected to dress a certain way.

This sounds like the tip of the iceberg to me OP. Do you actually want to be having "non vanilla" sex multiple times per week at 6 months pregnant? I know I certainly didn't at that point. Be prepared for him to start pressuring you into sex sooner than you'd like after giving birth. If I were you I'd start having a few honest conversations with yourself about how much agency and respect you are being granted in this relationship.

Tell him bluntly NO and tbh OP he better get used to it because unless your newborn is a fantastic sleeper having sex won’t be at the top of your list!

He sounds like a controlling arsehole. What right does he have to tell you what to wear?

I had a BF who kept pressuring me to dress more sexily. I look back now and think why did I put up with it? It's so tiring.

Same @TabbyStar. It's easier when you're on the outside looking in isn't it.

Does he control you in other ways?

He says he gets it now but he got it before he just didn’t care. He thinks his wants are more important and he would happily let you be uncomfortable for his own benefit.

He's not controlling in other ways, he does get jealous but never in an aggressive way, and has never told me not to wear something when I've gone out ect. We've got 5 kids already, so me being pregnant isn't new territory to us. I'm not sure why he's so bent on me being sexy all the time now, when I literally just want to feel comfortable I don't want the pressure of looking good all the time. He has apologised a lot since, but it's stuck in my head now.

Tell him to fucking dress up and look sexy.