My husband and I have been together 12 years, married for 7, two (planned) children. House, mortgage, no significant financial issues, secure jobs we both like. No health issues or health issues in close family or friends. We love each other to bits. I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for him. He's a good guy. He says he's got everything he could have hoped for in life.
And yet. He can be so cross and irritable and impatient and occasionally shouty. At things like: other drivers, the kids doing annoying things that are probably actually normal for their age, the way I load the dishwasher. It's normally when he's hungry or tired or something a bit stressful is happening (eg terrible weather while driving). He is never passive aggressive or really lays into any of us. But it puts me on edge and I find it tiring to be around. I try to ignore it a lot of the time because if I try to say "I'd rather you didn't shout" it often leads to a proper row, and that's obviously best to avoid in front of the kids. He always apologises afterwards and never bears a grudge.
Is this stuff normal in relationships? I'm not perfect myself and I know it. Occasionally I get overwhelmed by the exhaustion from parenting two small kids, and he is supportive. He is forgiving if I am grumpy. But I feel he's unreasonable more often than I am.
I once raised the idea of relationship counselling because it felt too much. He was surprised but said he would do it if I wanted.
Sorry if I've waffled on a bit... I'd just like an idea about what is normal in a relationship!