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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to not bring past hurt into a relationship

1 reply

RajaGemini · 29/10/2020 08:22

There have been 2 guys i've dated, one last year and one the year before.
Both of them started taking days to reply, then I later found out it was because they had met someone else, and I was just being strung along until it was 'official' with the new girls.
Another guy was 'too busy' to meet me for a month, even for a bloody hour, when he lived 1.5 miles away ! When I called him out on it I was told that I was being really unreasonable.
He then took me on a 'date' which despite me paying for, kept calling me a cheapskate.

Another guy I had had 5 dates with. Once he had what he wanted he suddenly lost interest, and stood me up in a pub on Xmas eve !

My ex from several years ago was abusive for years and cheated on me/left me for this girl.
I've done therapy but think I need to continue. I had zero boundaries, and even though I called out all these men, I was often gaslighted and made to feel like I was in the wrong.
I deserve the best and I need to keep to my standards. I just have a hard time believing that not all men are like this. It's like i'm expecting all men to do this at some point, even though the aforementioned are creeps and slimeballs.
I know a lot of us have been through stuff like this, and I wouldn't go back to any of those losers if you paid me, but it's knocked my confidence.

OP posts:
RajaGemini · 29/10/2020 08:23

Also with the first two guys I mentioned, I didn't found out via them they had met others, I found out on Instagram and Facebook.

OP posts:
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