First conversation with CAFCASS next week

[Pebbledashery]

Hi all.
I have my first telephone conversation with the cafcass officer next week re family court proceedings. I'm really anxious about it.
Can anyone give any insight on what to expect and how to conduct myself, what not to say etc.
For background, my ex partner is violent, abusive, abused our daughter physically and psychologically, we fled domestic violence and relocated to safety had SS intervention and MARAC and police involvement, he doesn't know where we live, also he is under investigation for child abuse, he also has history of stalking ex partners and very long history of abusive relationships..and he has been served a non molestation order. So I will be opposing contact in the most articulate way possible.
Just wanted some insight really and I guess a hand hold (even though I hate that term)

I have done this over the last year.

Focus on your child completely. Their well-being, their happiness in the future & safeguarding. Nothing about the two of you (beyond maybe a quick summary of the non-molestation order & reasons).
Make notes; I had various CAMHS reports I wanted to mention & reports to child services too. I made notes in a chronological order to use.
Make sure you have some space/time to prepare yourself before. You want to seem reasonable (which I'm sure you are!) and considered.

Let me know if you have any specific questions. It will be ok; you're doing the right thing.

Oh I got emails from school too which I read some parts of about my DD's well-being, mood etc.

@catcatcatcat thank you.. That's really helpful. I'm just worrying about how I translate the fact I don't support contact because it puts us both at risk.. Our daughters safety because of his awful temper and me because he'll get someone to follow me home as that's what he's done before. I'm worried they'll be biased and pro father..
I've got my daughters new nursery to document her behaviour because shortly after she joined she had several outbursts of aggression and replicated physical contact moves that she'd seen him so to me, I.e. Spitting, hitting and pushing.
The abuse escalated when I became pregnant.. He attacked me violently twice when I was pregnant.. Should I mention that also.

Hi there, definitely do as catcatcatcat advises. Also focus on facts (like police involvement) rather than focusing on saying you're worried about what he "might" do. They have no way at this stage of knowing who is telling or embellishing the truth, so you need to focus on things that actually happened and which have been documented in some way by outside agencies (police, social services, nursery, GP etc). I would include his assault on you, and tell them that you reported it, if you did. Definitely mention that nursery has documented her behaviour. I think you can say all that and follow by saying you worry about the affect of his aggression on her.
I had really good experiences with CAFCASS and found them to be very supportive and thorough. They just have to be "fair" because to them, you and your ex are two strangers, and the only way they can get to the truth is by documented evidence, because either of you could be telling lies for all they know. Good luck, I'm sure it will be fine.

Do you have a solicitor? Mine gave me good advice to help with my call. I also wondered if people had talked about contact centres?

Hi thanks for responding. Yes I have a solicitor I would hope to speak to her next week prior to the call with CAFCASS.. As sad as it sounds there is a lot of evidence and the fact SS and child protection intervened and assisted us in fleeing.