Money long term relationship

[Puppylover99]

Is this normal
Oh and i have 3 dc
No married, his choice.
we go halfs on most bills and food,
he pays his mortgage but whenever he gives me money for dc or to book holidays etc... he pays it in as child maintenance incase i ever try to take him to the csa he says.
He earns a good wage but saves most of it...
I work part time.

Anyone?

I wouldn't be happy with that set up. Are you on the mortgage? Are the children his if you don't mind me asking? It's almost like he's unwilling to commit financially. My partner and I are paid into one account which we both use, there's no this is my share and this is yours. It's ours. The comment he makes about child maintenance is very odd

They are all his dc,
Im not on the mortgage no.

It's a bit unsettling the comment about child maintenance like he's expecting you to split. I guess the big question is OP are you happy with this situation? What is he like aside from the financial situation

No i am not happy i find it so cheeky and disrespectful.
We have split before and he’s paid for the children i guess he’s worried about if we split again and i was to take it further re child maintenance i could get 3x the amount he was giving me.

I'd split in that case OP and get your fair share and proper maintenance.

Why do all these men begrudge paying for their own children?

Seriously, what do you get out of this? You split bills, you do most of the childcare, you work part time. He’s taking the absolute fucking piss.

Dump his sorry arse and get your 3x what he’s giving you now, tight bastard.

I assume you were ok with this arrangement after child 1 and then child 2...

Or is this something he's only started doing after you had child 3?

He’s only recently started doing this after we first split

No it's not fair. You would probably be better off financially on your own on universal credit + your salary + his maintenance (hopefully), than you are now. You would be happier, more in control of things IMO. Run your numbers through website like entitledto / gingerbread to find out.

I am thinking of leaving again I just wanted to see if i was over reacting
Thanks for reply’s

Definitely not over reacting. You are supposed to be a partnership which he isn't acting like. Good luck OP x

It’s not fair that he’s got a property and you haven’t. But he did make it clear when he didn’t want to get married that he doesn’t want to share.
I’d go full time at work and try and maximise your own earnings to get on the property ladder. Don’t reduce your earnings to reduce childcare costs and be left with nothing.

This is financial abuse, he doesn't respect you enough to marry you and doesn't see you as a long term partner. You shouldn't have got yourself into this position as it's unlikely you will have any money if you both split.

Just read the full thread, you should definitely leave him and claim maintenance, you would be far better off. Good luck

Thank you