Just sent a "This is why you've upset me" email to my dad...

[ScaryJaamy]

We don't talk much, though I see him frequently when I visit my mum at least once a week. They are still living in the same house tho separate lives. They both seem to favour my sister - babysitting, collecting children, even down to how much harder her and her DH work than me and my DH.

Mum recently been quite ill and I though life is too short to just carry on and grin and bear it so emailed him (when we talk it's always about him) a few things about why he upset me, ie only tells friends bad things about me that happened when I was a child, only visited my house 3 times in the last year, etc

Fell better for doing it but have I done wrong? What'll I do if he never speaks to me again? Any one been in a similar situation?

No negative comments please - just no one else to tlk to at 2.15 on a monday morning!

I dont think you are wrong too at all lovely

I have a difficult relationship with my dad and wish i'd done something similar many years ago... but seems no point at all now for us. however, recently, my step dad, who i love dearly, and who's been a brilliant dad to me, was really upsetting me, and i had no idea why.

i decided i disnt want to 'loose' another dad, so talked about it, on the phone a couple of days ago. He's been off with me for about months, well, since my Dd christening really . It wa a difficult conversation and I got very upset, as did he, as he'd no idea he'd hurt me so much. It had not been his intention.

It turned out, it was a BIG mis-understanding and could have been resolved at the time. I was disappointed he'd not told me about it at the time. and he is too, now. I'm still a bit cross with him, tbh that he had misjudged something i said to him al that time ago, and kept it going.

That said, I'm REALLY pleased i did talk to him.

I wish i could talk to my dad too, and often think i will. I have tried in the past and just not managed to get it all out.

I really think it cant do any harm to your situation. It might improve it, it may not, but whatever happens YOU will feel better becasue at least you have got it out in the open. maybe in time, it wil help to heal some old wounds...

I hope some other people can give you some input too. good luck

((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) heres a hug, as if your anything lke me, you probably really need it now.

Thank you so much susiecutie!

I have been sitting here hoping someone would reply and I'm so glad it was something positive.

This is something that has been brewing for a while and because my mum and dad don't get on any confrontation I have with my dad is usually put down to me "taking sides" with my mum which I really try not to do.

I hate that they've put me in this situation and I have also tried to have it out (gently!) with my mum before she got ill. My sister just ignores it all and takes advantage of the free child care on offer. My brother is a bit of a strange one and also tries to ignore the situation because he doesn't have a family of his own and doesn't appreciate the importance of family relationships.

So sorry to hear that you have been having problems with dads too. Gosh, I can't believe how much more difficult relationships get as we get older. Hope things settle down with your step dad and that you will also get the chance to sort things out with your dad too.

I'm off to give my DDs a big cuddle to remind myself how lucky I am and get myself to bed.

Well done to your little girl again! And thanks once again for replying. Hope you're not in too much pain and can get some sleep too - someone will be up early tomorrow wanting to invstigate the world with her new found crawling skills!