Leaving a relationship for two weeks

[Peter266]

The girlfriend has done it twice in 1.5 years.
She told me she wanted to be with someone else.
And she left me, took her things, but not all of them, and went to him.
She broke up with me normally.
I accepted the breakup, telling everyone that she left me.
She'll be back in two weeks, She'll say she loves me and she wants me again.
And that she will never leave again, and that she loves me.

What is this mental disorder? Can it be treated?

She will end our relationship, I am terribly worried. And then she comes back.

Something about her: She is very impulsive and easily gets angry, screams, breaks things.
In anger, she can hurt me very very verbally and sometimes physically.
She can be amazing, but also the exact opposite.
She often has mood swings, and once she loves me once she hates me.
Everything is only my fault. Everytjing I do, is bad in her eyes. She is irresponsible.
She is still writing with other men (Facebook, Instagram ... ), she has been unfaithful several times.

I love her and I haven't left her yet, even though I wanted to more than once. Sometimes she is unmanageable. I don't know how to help her anymore. I would love to help her. I dont to know what to do :(

LTB.

You cannot "help" another person into having a personality you like better.

Wanting to fix a person and staying with them despite hugely wrong behaviour is a sign of codependency. If you are codependent this is a major mental health problem for you that you need to get diagnosed and under control if you are to have a happy life.

I am so sorry that you have endured this emotionally and physically violent relationship for so long.

Don’t worry about her - she sounds totally unhinged some MH or PD disorder. She needs professional help - you can’t love her out of it.

But look more closely at you. Why are you staying in this v abusive and volatile RS? You should involve the police for the repeated DV and physical violence.

You need to KNOW this is not love. It’s trauma bonding. And you need to seek support to end this relationship and heal yourself.

What did you experience with you parents relations / childhood home to believe this is even tolerable never mind love.

So you have DC together? What living arrangements are there that bind you?

What family and friends do you have in RL who you can open up to and support you leaving this toxic, abusive RS?

@Sssloou

I am so sorry that you have endured this emotionally and physically violent relationship for so long.

Don’t worry about her - she sounds totally unhinged some MH or PD disorder. She needs professional help - you can’t love her out of it.

But look more closely at you. Why are you staying in this v abusive and volatile RS? You should involve the police for the repeated DV and physical violence.

You need to KNOW this is not love. It’s trauma bonding. And you need to seek support to end this relationship and heal yourself.

What did you experience with you parents relations / childhood home to believe this is even tolerable never mind love.

So you have DC together? What living arrangements are there that bind you?

What family and friends do you have in RL who you can open up to and support you leaving this toxic, abusive RS?

Hi thanks for reply :) My mother is similar as my girlfriend. A had very bad childhood. Mom abuses father for 27 years.

We are in my flat rent with girlfriend. I wanted but I am not able to leave her.

It’s great that you can see what happened in your childhood.

It’s great that you want to leave her.

You just need some RL support to end the RS, move her out and then spend some time in therapy dealing with the legacy of your abusive mother before another RS because you will just choose someone similar and repeat the experience.

Can you start by emotionally disconnecting on your mind from your GF? Can you enlist help from friends to get her out of your life during these two weeks? Who is on the tenancy - can you change the locks?

You can’t stay with her. She doesn’t love you. She wants someone else. When you truly love someone you’d do anything for them. Drop what you’re doing for them. Doubt she’d do that for you mate. Sorry.

She leaves but doesn’t take all her stuff. Clearly hedging her bets in case it doesn’t work out with the other guy. So she has an excuse to come back to you. Or perhaps he took her on holiday or something for a couple of weeks and she couldnt take non-holiday stuff. Who knows.

She lies to you that you’re the one and moves back in meanwhile she’s still chatting him up. What happened to her stuff she took to his? She’s so two faced.

She probably told him you’re her flat mate not her bf.

You don’t need this drama. You deserve better.

Whose name is the tenancy in? One of you needs to move out.

Don’t take her back. She will never find mr right while she’s with you. And you won’t meet anyone nice while you’re going in circles with her.

Her behaviour is disrespectful and horrible. You can do better. LTB.

Yuck. I’d call this “disorder” being an arsehole.

You are attracted to her cause that’s all you know. I did the same when I was young and drove off good men and stayed with losers.

Get rid of her and get therapy so you don’t get in this situation again.

mensadviceline.org.uk/

How are you doing today?

Thanks All of you :) Yesterday she was at me for some things to school. She said that she loves me, and that she is gonna come back to me this week and that she will never leave me again.

What is was about? Why she is doing this?
I thought that I am able to say no to her. But I am addicted to her fyzicaly. I am not able to NOT having sex with her. After week I am extremely horny, and nothing helps. So if she wants me, she always take me by sex.

And that is the reason, why I am still with her,

@widespreadpanic

Yuck. I’d call this “disorder” being an arsehole.

You are attracted to her cause that’s all you know. I did the same when I was young and drove off good men and stayed with losers.

Get rid of her and get therapy so you don’t get in this situation again.

This, totally.

Google hysterical bonding and trauma bonding. It’s an addictive emotional and physical situation. You need to go cold turkey and look to having a better life yourself. Who cares what her “disorder” is - it’s abusive.

Look to healing yourself - you have already some good insights.

What’s school got to do with it?
When is her two weeks up? What can you do yourself to break this cycle? She won’t change so you need to.