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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Separation

4 replies

Tmlight · 26/10/2020 00:53

Hi guys, I'm new and this is my first post.

I have been with my OH for 23 years, we are not married though. We have two kids boy(20) and girl (10).

I have been incredibly unhappy for years and years, the usual stuff and feeling like I'm an inconvenience. I literally wipe his ass his job is through me, the house was through me, he stopped seeing his friends so only really sees mine. There's loads of reasons(too many to write) I no longer feel like I can carry on with this relationship. I told him 4 years ago I was done and after a week of him crying and being irratic I gave in and stayed. However I told him again just before lockdown that I wasn't happy and wanted to end the relationship but then we were locked down, I said we would revisit it after lockdown but during lockdown we got on much better, very little arguing and he was more fun etc so we kinda rekindled our friendship. The issue is my mindset hasn't changed, I still want to end it. I feel like I need to find out who I am without him, I have lived my life for so long running around, putting him first everytime I need to be me.

I dont want to hurt him, I worry about where he will live( as we currently live in a council house which is in my name) I also worry about if im being selfish, and how its unfair of me to make the decisions as it will effect us both.

He doesn't want to split and thinks its ok.

I dont even want to have sex etc

Someone help please xxxxxx

OP posts:
Greeneyes78 · 26/10/2020 06:46

Pull the plaster off, make plans, stick to them. Sounds like you’ve made your mind up.

wirldsgonemad · 26/10/2020 06:49

Look you've got plenty of reasons to end it, stop being soft and thinking about him. He'll survive. You need to put your happiness first, he's treat you like a mug for years, it's time you lived your life and dropped this waste of space.

KatherineJaneway · 26/10/2020 06:54

Bite the bullet and tell him its over. He will be hurt but the only alternative is your continued unhappiness. He is an adult, he'll find a place to live.

Tmlight · 27/10/2020 03:23

Thank you guys I know what I need to do its just a lot of unsureity. Do you guys have any stories to share of what to expect or how your lives changed for the better x

OP posts:
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