I posted on here some months back about my ex. Short story is we were together, drifted, she went off with an atypical 'bad boy' and got pregnant, I went on to continue building my life. Contact made about six months ago, she was left high and dry with kid, I have a much better life position (home owner, good job 50kish pa). She tried to engineer a rekindling (I suspect) I had no desire to bring back someone who left me esp. if I have to raise some other blokes kid. That goes double since I know the bloke and I wouldn't trust him to raise a spoon to his mouth, let alone a child.
So anyway, I am now in a relationship, early days but all going well. My birthday was a few weeks back. Me and my gf are over my place, having a nice meal and bottle of bubbly. Calm, low key evening which is what I like. Get a knock at the door. I go to answer it, it's the ex!!
Now I never gave her my address or phone number and after our email exchanges has extricated. No contact between us for several months. Turns out she had got my address from a friend (lied to him, said she had stuff to return) and decides to rock up with a pressie, 'dressed to impress'.
I ask her what the hell she is doing, she says she wanted to see me on my bday! GF comes to door just as ex is asking to come in. Not pleasant.
In short, I tell ex never to contact me again, never to come to address again and let her have both barrels saying I don't want her back, she chose some stoner waster over me and now he has gone she wants me to help raise his kid, which she will need help with if he has inherited his father's trash genetics re pot smoking and inability to hold employment! All over but the sobbing, door slam, done.
I then had to tell my new gf the whole story. Luckily I had retained all the emails and completely laid it all bare to her. She saw I had not encouraged anything, had been polite but basically done a mini Grey Rock on the ex. I then had to explain all the previous, the waster, her leaving etc.
Luckily, gf was very understanding, it ruined the night unsurprisingly but we have moved forward. I think it'll be casting a shadow on our relationship a while though.
I have shut down my old email after a day of moving my PayPal, eBay etc.
How do I reassure my gf that the ex will be no more trouble moving forward? I think the fact she left me, the gf is thinking I may have some lingering love there (defo don't). Beyond that, when it comes to these matteri encourage anyone male or female to not try to be nice but just be blunt!