Sex when I'm not feeling great, what do you do?

[Whattheducks]

Regular poster but I've NC.

I've had an absolutely crap week physically. I suffer with PMDD and it's 'that' week at the minute. So I've had alot of anxiety, mood swings, feeling fluey.

I also have chronic TMD (also known as TMJ) which causes alot of facial pain and headache. I live with that 24-7 but it ebbs and wanes. It's bad today.

OH has a high sex drive and we haven't done the deed for 4-5 days due to the above and he is getting frustrated now and dropping blatant hints.

Do you make the effort for their benefit when you don't feel upto it or no?

Do you make the effort when you're not feeling it, for your partner/husband

[PebblesAndBamBam]

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a man who wants to have sex with someone he knows doesn't want to.

[Yohoheaveho]

@PebblesAndBamBam

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a man who wants to have sex with someone he knows doesn't want to.

This^
Your partner sees sex as a service that you are obliged to provide for him 😡

[LindaEllen]

Assuming he has at least one functional hand, he's being absolutely unreasonable expecting you to have sex when you're just not feeling up to it. It's really unfair for him to pester you when he knows you're not feeling well.

If this was me and my DP he'd give up pestering me as soon as he realised the answer really was 'no', and cuddle me instead until I fell asleep.

[BertiesLanding]

OP, have you ever thought about the possibility that your symptoms are exacerbated by this awful dynamic you have with your husband ... that your body is objecting and recoiling; that you are unduly stressed because giving in violates what feels right for you?

[Bagelsandbrie]

I actually left my first dh for this behaviour. It really made me resent him and I hated him in the end. I left when Dd was 6 months old. I just had enough of him constantly pestering me. My health has never been great and I really felt he completely lacked empathy.

I have now been married 12 years to my now dh and we both have health issues - mine are physical, his are mental, and we often have months where we have no sex at all. In the early days we had sex twice a day but we understand we often just don’t feel like it and that’s okay. No pressure whatsoever.

I would really genuinely rather be on my own than have someone pester me for sex. Cannot stand it. I think it’s a very fine line close to abusive behaviour.

[whatsoccuringnow]

I'm in a similar situation. Low libido. Don't really have any health issues, just would prefer a brew and a cuddle most of the time as I've gotten older


DH still has a high sex drive. I have sex when not in the mood as it keeps our relationship on track. He has lowered his expectations in the frequency but still feels hurt when I have no reason other than I dont want to.


Its shit because we are fine in all other areas. I wish I wanted it more. And plenty of my friends husbands sulk over not getting enough sex. On MN loads of people don't mind being in sexless marriages but in real life it pisses people off and causes hurt and feelings of rejection. It's a tough one.