Partner's celebrity crushes

[hmmcelebrity]

My girlfriend often talks about her celebrity crushes - says she wishes [celebrity name] was her wife, comments on their instagram photos saying how beautiful they are, tells me what she'd like to do to them physically, etc.

I've said to her that it makes me feel insecure and she's said that it's just how she is and that I'm being immature and need to get over it. This is my first relationship and she says that I'm being childish, and that if I had more relationship experience I'd be fine with this. Is this sort of thing really normal in relationships?

I don't really care that she has celebrity crushes (I do too, I assume most people do), it's just everything else and especially her talking about marrying them.

She sounds about 12 tbh why would she go into so much detail about it? We can all appreciate a good looking celeb and have a bit of banter about it, but she knows she’s upsetting you and still carrying on.
Rather than focusing on this why not work on your self esteem, is there a reason you are threatened? Is she trustworthy?

next time she says something like that just agree with her and be like yeah I fancy them too. In reality is she really going to have a chance with these celebrities, no.

It's juvenile. Why do you have to discuss it? Just shut down the discussion when it comes to it, and if they want to discuss it and bring it up, yes, they indeed want you to feel insecure and get themselves to feel like they can do much better than you

That sounds really upsetting. There are boundaries. And somebody saying stuff that they know upsets a person they love is crossing those boundaries. We should have respect in relationships.

If I had a partner who said that to me I’d feel insecure and ask them to keep that stuff in their head please as I don’t want to know. Likewise I’d keep my shit private.

If they kept on about it I’d want to know why they were deliberately trying to upset me. To somehow make me jealous? Were they pissed off with me for something else and trying to get revenge? Were they being nasty as they don’t really love me and are looking for a barney with me so they can dump me and blame it all on me?
Sounds like childish bollocks.
I’d not be best pleased for sure.

I think it was brave of you to say it makes you feel insecure - you are owning your own reaction there. Her behaviour on the other hand sounds immature at best, downright nasty at worst.

I told my partner a while after we met that I really hated how he always commented on other women. He stopped (around me anyway).

Why is her desire to drone on boringly about celebrities more important than your feelings?

A bit of a celeb crush is one thing - constantly commenting on posts n Droning on about them - nah

It sounds immature of her to not have the wherewithal to understand it is a bit excessive, nor to grasp that it makes her sound about 12 to be going on about someone she's never seen in person or knows anything about and saying she wishes she was married to them .

Maybe she enjoys making you jealous OP? Not a good trait if so. Tell her you don't need to hear about it again as it's a turn off listening to her fawning over randomers

My self-esteem is good, I just feel threatened because I never expected my partner to regularly talk about marrying someone else (even if that someone is a celebrity).

I don't really know why she does it - she's told me that it's just how she is and that I need to get used to it. It makes me feel a bit better though that people here don't think I'm too unreasonable.

Very weird. But then I dont really get celeb crushes or take them seriously. It's not real life!

I'd dump someone like this honestly if it didnt stop.

She's crossing your boundaries and she needs to be told assertively that it is not on.
It is a way of making you feel insecure and could affect your self esteem in the long run. It is a NO NO.
If anyone needs to grow up and accept being mature it is her.

We all have celebrity crushes. Mine's Gerard Butler, but I would never undermine a man by talking incessantly about him. He's a crush, it's not real life. I like him. But I would really have to question her mental health if she is getting so wrapped up in talking about marrying them! That's really not normal behaviour. She's not considering your feelings either.

You don't need to get used to it. Why should you listen to that bollocks? It's not that she has crushes that's the problem, it's the fact that she seems quite focused on it that's the issue. I wonder if she does it to annoy you or make you jealous? Does she do it more after you've annoyed her?

So she’s basically saying she doesn’t care if something upsets you, she will carry on and she’s not changing.

She'a the immature, childish, insecure one here. She's just foisting all of that on to you.

I had a boyfriend once who every now and again commented inappropriately on other women (and not to the extent your girlfriend is) it made him sound pathetic and I was embarrassed for him.

It was also because he was insecure and wanted to make me feel just as insecure about myself as he did about him.

It was just one of the things I dumped him for.

You deserve better. She doesn't deserve you. Dump her.