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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

joint custody

6 replies

jussy1 · 14/10/2007 14:37

Can anyone helpmy ex is applying for joint custody of our 18month old daughter sounds quite normal i know but he has actually smacked her a few times starting at 5 months old, no one seems to be taking me seriously child protection and social services cant do anything because its history. He is doing this to be spiteful although i know he loves her but she is more like a possesion not a person to him, sorry for going on but i am actually living on my nerves at mo

OP posts:
Elizabetth · 14/10/2007 15:35

Did he take an equal share in her upbringing before you split? If he didn't then it would be incredibly disruptive and damaging to her to be separated from you, her mother and primary carer in that manner. Smacking a baby is also very disturbing.

I'm sorry he's using her as a pawn in your split. It's a terrible thing to do. What does your solicitor say?

Original poster
jussy1 · 15/10/2007 14:23

Am changing solicitor at moment dont seem to be taken seriously. Yes he did help with her upbringing while i worked but she wasnt cared for properly but cant prove it, he will hurt her again to get at me i know that, she is just so young

OP posts:
Elizabetth · 15/10/2007 15:26

The solicitor is key. If he's using legal tactics against you, you need to use them back.

I hope that other women who've been through divorces will come and help you. I don't have any experience of this except as a child of a divorce in which my Dad was very like your husband in that he used us kids as tools to get at my mother.

Do you have any support in real life?

Lasvegas · 15/10/2007 16:09

jussy1 trust your instincts. If for what ever motive you suspect there is even an outside chance child's father will be bad for her wellbeing, then keep him away from her.

I don't think it is normal for someone to smack a 5 month old. They are too young to be naughty at that age. sounds like this man has a problem keeping a lid on his temper. i would not let someone like this have joint custody.

macdoodle · 15/10/2007 20:25

Smacking a 5 month old is child abuse there is NO reason whatsoever - get a good solicitor!

Original poster
jussy1 · 21/10/2007 11:45

Thanks to all who replied. I feel so alone at the moment its like smashing my head against a brick wall, i would love to keep him away but unfortunatly have no choice. court date in the new year i so hope they do take notice of me, have changed solicitor they are a lot better, but tanks to you all

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