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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I make it better?

10 replies

Chick101 · 23/10/2020 14:18

Hi, I’ve been dating a guy for just over 6 months now, we have a lot in common and it has unfolded naturally, we never argue and had very good communication, he would always say how I’m different and special and understand him different from anyone else he has met, he loved how relaxed I was and how I had my separate life. The last time we met up I told him I wanted to see him more (he is a very busy man, & has a lot going on) but I asked for a bit more of his time said we are at that time now and I wanted more, he agreed saying he would try his hardest, after that night we still spoke and nothing changed it was still the same dialogue but after a couple of week, I sent a message and it went unanswered, I sent him a message saying I didn’t appreciate being ignored and a quick message to say he was busy isn’t much to ask for he replied saying he was sorry and it won’t happen again and agreed to see me soon another week went by, I messaged him and complained about how he still hadn’t made no effort to see me, that message went unread, a couple of days later I sent another to ask if he hadn’t received my message and that I still hadn’t seen him, that has also been left unread, he is still liking and interacting with my posts of social media but is avoiding my messages. I’m starting to realise I’ve put to much pressure on him, but what can I do to make things better, for both of us, moving forward? thank you

OP posts:
Divebar · 23/10/2020 14:24

You cannot do anything to make it better, you can only change your responses to him. Who is so busy that they don’t have time to read a text message? I’m afraid he’s just not that into you. In your position I would not message him again and see if he gets in touch with you.

TurnTheRadioOn · 23/10/2020 14:34

It's easy to 'like' SM posts and gives the impression that you're still interested with zero effort.

A lot of people will do that because they don't want to remove someone completely from their life just in case they don't get a better offer.

I wouldnt message again and just leave it. See what he does. Give yourself a mental deadline, say sunday night, and, if you haven't heard from him by then, allow yourself to close the door on it.

You deserve better than this, surely?

Thatwentbadly · 23/10/2020 14:36

He is just not interested in moving your relationship forward. You can’t do anything about this. How often are you seeing him at the moment? What is he so busy doing?

edwinbear · 23/10/2020 19:15

He enjoys having someone to see when it suits him, but isn’t prepared to move you up his priority list. You’re just not important enough to him. I’d also just stop messaging him and leave him to his ‘busy’ life and find someone who does want to fit you into his schedule.

Zaphodsotherhead · 23/10/2020 19:28

You're special and different and not like the other girls?

I'd give him a hard pass to be honest. Somewhere there's a thread about men who say this kind of thing.

Justcallmebebes · 23/10/2020 19:31

He's just not that into you. If a man is interested he will make time come what may. Gather up your dignity and move on

Wimbledon1983 · 23/10/2020 19:31

It’s not about ‘making it better’ op - he’s not giving you what you deserve. He is the person who needs to make it better. I’d he doesn’t step up without you prodding him then say bye bye, and lose the ‘i need to make him love me or it’s my fault’ mindset.

Wimbledon1983 · 23/10/2020 19:32

*if

SunflowerYellow · 23/10/2020 19:37

You’re asking what can you do to make things better as though you’ve done something wrong, you haven’t. You’ve expressed you want to take things further, he agreed and now he’s ghosting you. Typical man that doesn’t want to have the hard conversation that he isn’t ready for it so he’s told you what he wants to hear now he’s avoiding you and being purposely ignorant. Sounds like an arsehole tbh.

SunflowerYellow · 23/10/2020 19:37

What you* want to hear

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