Please be gentle with me. I think this is going to be a long one.
I’m 30 with DS who’s nearly 3. My DP and I were going through a really bad patch when I fell pregnant and I felt obliged to give it a go because I was pregnant. My pregnancy and first few months of DS’s life were really happy, but when DS was 8 months old I fell pregnant again and had an abortion. We both felt it was too soon for another, I had bad PND and had only just started to feel “normal” again, etc. Basically since then, so for the last 2 years, things have been tough. He isn’t abusive in any way, I just don’t think we work as a couple. We’re polar opposites. He has many many good qualities, but he’s also lazy, pig headed, stubborn, totally dependent on his mum (she still makes his dentist appointments for example), immature and just not the kind of man I saw myself being with. He was 23 when we got together and a bit of a lad, but it’s like he’s never grown up. He went on a stag do recently and got in a fight because someone made a comment to his friend. We barely have sex because he’s just never interested.
The huge obstacle here is that I’m 8 weeks pregnant. He says he’s excited but I had a private scan last week and he wasn’t bothered about coming. That being said he is an all round solid parent to our son, he is a bit shouty sometimes though.
I just don’t know what to do. Have the baby and stick it out, or make the awful decision to have a termination and not bring another child into a failing/failed relationship. When I see my future, it’s not with him. It actually makes me sad to think this could be it for me. I’m just lost and can’t turn to anyone in real life.