Pregnant and going solo

[Namechangedforthisoct2]

Hello,
Any lovely mumsnetters able to inspire me that things will be ok?

I’m 6 weeks pregnant and the father has turned out to be not very nice, verging on emotionally abusive. He’s left for good this morning.

I’m 40 and have a 17 year old son, I split up with his dad when he was 2 and despite his dad being in the picture have done the majority of parenting myself.

I feel so stupid and ashamed of myself. I don’t know how I’ve managed to get into this situation. I’ve always wanted more children but because I never met the right man I knew was a keeper I’ve held off as I never wanted to be a single mum again.
Now I’m a single mum from 6 weeks pregnant!

I’m trying my best to put on a brave face and know I’ll be ok, but can anyone else inspire me that going through pregnancy and birth alone is going to be ok? Thank you

I'm so sorry you've ended up in this situation . It sounds like you have managed fine in the past with your older son as a single parent and can totally do it again, if you want to and have supportive friends/family. Does your older DS know about the pregnancy yet? How will they feel having a baby on the scene? It will change the whole dynamic of your support for him, so there's lots to think about in that respect.

Thanks @MrsVogon, yes I do have a good circle of support although they’re all busy with their own lives if you know what I mean.

Yes I’ve told my son, he’s not thrilled as worried about me and said ‘wrong dad, wrong timing’ which I agree with! But.... as I also said to him I can’t consider an abortion it’s just not something I could do (I’m pro-choice so no judgements to those that do choice mode that route).

I already love this little being growing inside me, I’m just so scared I won’t be able to handle the pregnancy and first year on my own - but I guess I’ll have to 🤷🏽‍♀️❤️

You will be just fine. Sounds like you have a good head and a fantastic son. He will come round and I suspect will be a great support for you. Tell him the baby will be a magnet in meeting girls!
You can do this.
Have a little smile at your son being the sensible one here, but you know you have been given a little gift, you want it, you all ready love so you are most of the way there. Best of luck

I went through pregnancy with DS2 on my own from 18 weeks. It was pretty hard, lots of feelings of despair, I did struggle to be maternal too
But I had amazing support from my friends and family. I had my closest friend as my birth partner and to help out a few days when he arrived. I soon enjoyed being on my own with my boys
It’s not easy and not how you imagine or wish your pregnancy, labor and the first weeks to be.... 4.5 years later I still feel sad about that. But it will shape you to be an a strong mum

Thank you @lightyearsahead your comment made me smile as my son is so sensible and level headed!! I think he was more disgusted with the fact he had to think about his mum having sex - I guess it’s also a very stark warning for him as I took the morning after pill, so we’ve been discussing how he would handle it if a girl fell pregnant. Hopefully this means I won’t be a granny anytime soon!!

Thank you for sharing your experience @Rockinmomma and I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this too
You’ve given me a good idea to perhaps think about asking various family / friends to come stay for a week or two post birth just to have someone here other than my son (and I don’t want him to feel any responsibility).