So worried

[Spicegirl80]

So I’ve told my husband tonight that I’m no longer in love with him like a wife should be, it’s not a complete shock as things have been rocky for a good while now. I’m really worried about him he’s devastated and not took it well at all.
Has anyone been through this we’re it was one sided and husband/wife took it really badly? I need reassurance that he’ll be ok and things will work out, I feel so guilty and anxious. Any positive stories further down the line please? sad

After you told him you don't love him, how did you leave it? Did you say you want a divorce?

I told him I love and care about him but I’ve not got the right feelings for him anymore that a wife should and I can’t give him the affection he deserves.
I actually said I want to split and he’s begging me to work on it but I feel like it’s gone too far already.
I just want reassurance he’ll be ok as like I say I do care about him, we’ve been together 22 years

Sorry I havnt said I want to split that should say

Tell him you want to split. Delaying it won't help. I told my ex I wasn't happy, then months later said it again. At that point he also wanted to fix it. I said I didn't but I still didn't outright say I wanted to split. It took another 3 months and wasn't any easier but I eas relieved it was done.

He was gutted and said he would have done anything etc. Too little too late. I didn't love him anymore but I never told him that until he asked a couple of months later.

I've been told he's depressed. Which is sad and I wish he wasn't but I battled my MH throughout our marriage and was pretty much alone in that as burying his head was his preferred method.

He's a big boy, he'll have to get over it and his emotional wellbeing isn't your responsibility.

Telling him you don't love him without also saying you want a divorce is kind of pointless and a bit cruel. If there's no hope, don't let him think there is. That's simply not fair for either of you.

You made a massive declaration you can't go back on. If you want out then do it.

No advice but in a similar situation. Have told my husband this multiple times but he always talks me out of divorce. It's gotten much much worse because I never had the courage to actually leave. I feel like I'm keeping him in a loose noose all the time. He loves me, I don't love him but he keeps hoping that this is just my inability to love anyone and that things will improve. Maybe they will. Absolutely no idea. But it's definitely not fair on them.

I think it was cruel to tell him you don’t love him anymore but not sat anything about separation / divorce. You have left him in a horrible limbo, like you want him to beg you. Do the decent thing.

Why did you tell him if you didn’t then say you want to split?

What did you want him to say or do in response?

What do you want?

You have to remember that although you have obviously been feeling this for some time and have had chance to think about it, he hasn't.

Dropping a massive bombshell and then expecting him to be ok straight away isn't fair as you are further down the process than he is already.