How do I say no thanks politely but leaving no doubt?

[goisey]

Gah, I'm trying internet dating after being in a long-term relationship for a couple of decades.
I've just had drinks with a nice guy, but he's not for me.
We didn't even try and snog each other, which I think says it all.
He's asked me out again, how do I say thanks but no thanks without sounding like a dick or that there might be hope?

Im so shit at this, help please!

Just that you had a nice time but you didn't feel a connection and all the best for the future.

Just be honest and polite. Tell him you enjoyed the evening but didn’t think there was any chemistry between you, so you don’t see any point in a second date, and wish him good luck with his future dates.

You could just say you enjoyed meeting him but feel you were better suited as friends and hope he finds the right lady for him soon.

Thank you for the offer, I had a really nice time with you but I got more of a friend's vibe ... ?

"It was lovely meeting you, but there's no spark for me, sorry. All the best for the future, bye."

Would it be worth one more date to see whether things change between you?

Thanks everyone....I've just texted a mash-up of all the above.
I don't know why, I find this stuff so awkward!
(I think that's why I stayed in my last relationship so bloody long!)

A lot of us do Goisey! It’s easy to say when it’s not you.. Well done anyway.

At least you had the guts to say it, when I said these things I got replies thanking me for being honest rather than ghosting and blocking. Its just manners in my book!

Really important to say when you want to say no.

I wouldn’t expect to snog on a first internet date though!

@Honeyroar, nope no chance, he was nice - but 100% not for me.

@TheDowagerDuchessofMwwwahaha - that's interesting to hear, I got the impression if you didn't offer anal on your first date you were considered a waste of an evening (slight exaggeration probably!)

Thanks all for the encouragement, I find the whole OD thing so odd, its a whole new world.

goisey that’s interesting too!

I sort of feel on an internet date you’re still making up your mind on a first date (unless you’ve decided no interest) and so wouldn’t want to go straight to snogging them. Also I like there to be a little bit of mystery for a couple of dates.

That’s not to say I didn’t ever snog someone on a first internet date but then I decided I wasn’t interested anyway!

Don’t listen to me anyway because I nearly always decide I’m not interested after one date!

End the message on a positive note; "nice to meet you anyway!"

See I feel think a snog is part of the 'interview' process...if I don't even fancy a snog just to see, then I can't be bothered with a second date.

I couldn't be arsed to date a 'washing machine' kisser - although maybe these guys don't exist anymore?

I guess I'm still a teenager trapped in an old and sagging body...

Why would you snog someone on a first date when you barely know them?

I would only snog someone if I fancied them.
I wouldn't go on a second date with someone I didn't fancy.
I didn't think that was weird?

I've snogged plenty of people on first dates, why not? Snogging is fun!!

Come to think of it I've snogged plenty of people I haven't even been on a date with too! Shall I throw myself on the nunnery steps and beg for salvation now or after breakfast?

@goisey

I would only snog someone if I fancied them. I wouldn't go on a second date with someone I didn't fancy. I didn't think that was weird?

This is 100% how I feel. If it's not there it's not there.

We're in the middle of a pandemic and you're thinking about snogging someone on a first date?

OK, g'luck with that.

Mutha - you do you.

I'm in Tier 1 area - very low cases.
I'm only dating locally.
I'm going to pubs as per the rules and mixing with another household in that pub, encouraged by our gov.

I work in a Covid safe environment- not much chance spreading it round - especially as myself and my colleagues worked safely all the way through the March/April lockdown.

This virus is going to be around for the rest of our lives, I'm unlikely to be vaccinated in 2021 or longer as I'm not in a vulnerable group.

I think only small pox is the only virus we have successfully eradicated?
Are you saying I can't date for the next few years/forever?
And not only not date, I'm not allowed any form of human/body contact with other adult human?

Maybe I need to take up grouse shooting...

Ps you might not think it's that hard to find someone you want to snog.....I'm telling you it is at my age, if I get the opportunity to snog someone I fancy I'm going for it!

I'm with you all the way OP, snogging is fun, people seem to have forgotten!

You were right to text. I used to hate doing it too, especially when they seemed nice, just not for you but you'd know they were excitedly planning the next date.

Just remember - a nice man deserves someone who actually fancies him.