Baby names

[Chatterbox89]

I just wanted some opinions on this conversation I just had with my boyfriend. Been together for a year and I’m 30 for context. Made a joke about me getting pregnant which then brought us on to the topic of baby names. He wanted me to remind him of a name he had heard earlier in the week which he liked, and I replied ‘Clark’ and he said ‘oh yeah Clark Surname, that will be my sons name. And I said not with me it wouldn’t, you are already apparently picking the surname (thinks a child should always get the fathers surname) so you don’t get to pick the first name. And he said of course I get to pick it’s my child... and I said it would be my child too or whoever your girlfriend is and to go through labour and carry the baby all that time they should be the one picking the name or having a large say in the matter. And when I have a child I’ve always imagined me and my partner will discuss names and decide together as it’s one of the most exciting things in life, but i do feel it should be mostly the woman’s choice. Then he cristised the names I like such as Oliver and Ethan and said they are tacky. I said I am genuinely shocked and disgusted that you think you are entitled to name a child when the woman has done all the work, then he said he would have done all the work!! Like what? And he said paying for it. At this point I’d like to point out I currently earn more than my boyfriend. Then I said well that’s a reason to break up alone, I don’t want to be with someone so domineering that thinks their choice is the only important one. Haven’t spoken since. Is this kind of comment normal from men? Or only idiots?

He sounds awful. I don’t think this is typical from men, just horrible ones. I think you’ve done the right thing chucking him, I don’t think he’d improve once you’d had the baby.

I think both of you are being a bit ridiculous and it’s clear that you two aren’t ready to have a child together. Whether it’s ‘not ready Yet’ or in general, it’s unclear.

In normal relationship, and in a true partnership neither gets to have the more of deciding power. Couples should really discuss it together. Like with all other important decisions in their lives.

Just because a man doesn’t get to carry the child - doesn’t mean that the name ‘should mostly be the woman’s choice’. It’s not fair to use nature that way. And I say it as a mother of two children.

Anyway. Your relationship is still fairly new. Maybe it’s just a hypothetical disagreement, or maybe it’s a sign that you two aren’t meant to be.

Thanks for your feedback @kanaloa and @MMmomDD. I did say it should be a discussion. Not the first red flag from him anyway so I maybe need to find someone more mature.

Jesus fucking Christ

You don’t think it is a joint decision though. You think it should be primarily the woman’s decision because it is the woman that goes through childbirth. I think you are being more unreasonable here and you both sound very immature.

Neither of you sound mature enough to even consider having a baby together

Of course he should have equal say in the name - this whole "I'm a woman I do all the work so get all the rights" is just bollocks.

I think it should be a joint decision and I loathe this "the woman did all the work" you could not have got pg without a man. Before anyone say something about how hard to create sperms is I would just say getting pg required teamwork and if you continue as a team as parents and partners you won't go far wrong.

Pick someone who you feel have similar opinions as yoh and someone who you feel will make an involved carrying parent and good life partner for you.

My children have not got names I imagined as a teenager or young adult they would have. They have names dh and I jointly choose and found that we both liked. And I love their names.

Just idiots I’m afraid. Yes it’s a bit of a daft conversation to have at this stage but how useful. Yes, he’s a throw his weight around chauvinist bellend.

Seriously I’d end it - why waste time?