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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Think I’ve got the “ick”

14 replies

Ickiness · 22/10/2020 21:22

As the title says really. I think I’ve got the “ick” and I really don’t want to! I don’t even know why I’ve got the “ick”
Can this be saved?? How do I get rid of the “ick” ?

OP posts:
gurteee · 22/10/2020 21:23

I am not sure you can!

what is the nature of this particular ick?! Smile

Sexnotgender · 22/10/2020 21:24

Oh no. How long have you been together? What’s ‘Ick‘ing you?

Drysnitchinsbitchin · 22/10/2020 21:33

Stop repeating ick for a start, it's like someone telling you not to think of a pink elephant
Just tell us all their annoying habits and we'll be the judge Grin

Ickiness · 22/10/2020 21:46

I’m not sure there is anything in particular to complain about, I’ve just noticed recently that when he’s come to cuddle me or kiss etc I feel a bit urgh! Usually I’d love to snuggle up in bed but recently I don’t even want to have any contact whatsoever 🙈

OP posts:
TwoWhiteTeacups · 22/10/2020 22:47

I got rid of the ick. Last year, I got the sort of ick that stopped me wanting sex. I'm 49 and think it's part of perimenopause.

I found the more I thought/worried about it, the bigger it grew in my head. I was overthinking it, googling herbal supplements, etc, and it took up more space in my thoughts every day.

Then, I stopped doing that, and thought instead about the few times I do still want sex. Because I do, sometimes. Nowhere near as often as I used to, but it's still there, half-asleep in the corner. I don't let it worry me any more: if we're both up for it, it happens, and I don't overthink the reasons it doesn't the rest of the time.

I had an honest talk to my partner and explained it's down to my almost-50 hormones, not him, and luckily he was understanding.

I'm probably never going to have the libido I used to, but I'm fine with a less energetic one. Honestly, my hottest bedroom fantasy is a quiet room to myself and a good book. :)

Heatherjayne1972 · 22/10/2020 22:51

In my experience no
Once you’ve got the Ick that’s it

Sorry op

IdblowJonSnow · 22/10/2020 22:52

How old are you? Could be hormones?

widespreadpanic · 22/10/2020 23:16

I’ve never gotten over it. Well the latest guy I’m seeing I get it off and on with him but I don’t think it will ever completely go away.

halfmoonfullmoon · 22/10/2020 23:24

there’s no coming back from the ick, sorry. It only grows

Ickiness · 22/10/2020 23:25

Aarrrgghhhh!
I really don’t want the “ick”!
I’ve always really fancied the pants off him and all of a sudden I don’t
I don’t even know why which makes it even more annoying, don’t think it’s hormones as it not been a gradual thing - literally in the last couple of weeks 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Tealteaparty · 22/10/2020 23:29

Ive been with my dh 24 years, mid 40s now. Am I still at risk of the ick?

halfmoonfullmoon · 23/10/2020 03:27

@Tealteaparty

Ive been with my dh 24 years, mid 40s now. Am I still at risk of the ick?
It’s unlikely to appear now but you never know...😱
EarthSight · 23/10/2020 07:04

It can totally be hormonal and NOT be a gradual thing.

If you used to fancy him, that's a really good sign. I think a rise in progesterone can cause this (pregnant women often don't want to be around their partners in an intimate way and there are theories about that). It can happen during the menstrual cycle as well. It's something to do with pheromones and genetic compatibility.

EarthSight · 23/10/2020 07:06

Forgot to say - beyond this, there could be things happening in your relationship or to with him that are resulting in feelings of disgust without you realising.

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