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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me find strength to leave

8 replies

Holdingtherope · 22/10/2020 19:48

I need to leave for my own sanity but just don't feel I have the strength.

Partner is constantly miserable, everything has a negative slant. - "why have you bought that" "too much sugar". We don't do anything together or do anything together. We have a 14 year old son, when we watch films - I don't want to watch that. No consideration that I don't want to watch it either but doing all I can to engage with our son. If I try to engage our son in cooking or baking. He just follows round moaning about the mess. When I say we don't do anything together I mean nothing. No holidays, no days out. Anything I suggest he doesn't want to do it. I just find him to be pretty selfish. I feel that he makes the final descion on everything. I really want a rescue dog but he says no and I just don't know where to go with it. Do I just get on? We split everything 50/50 so the only benefit I have is we live in a nicer house than I could afford on my own. No love in this house atall.

My issue is rent is so expensive where we are. Would you just suck it up and get on with it.

We are in a 5 year mortgage with 10k penalty charge

OP posts:
Bailey0703 · 22/10/2020 19:52

An you afford the mortgage on your own OP ?

Bailey0703 · 22/10/2020 19:52

*Can

Holdingtherope · 22/10/2020 19:57

No, he won't leave. Has built the house from scratch and loves it as I do!

I will also have to leave my cat and dog as most rental won't accept which is devastating me too,

OP posts:
cakeandchampagne · 22/10/2020 19:59

Flowers You could be so much happier.

BasiliskStare · 22/10/2020 20:25

Would you leave with your son coming with you ?

MiniCooperLover · 22/10/2020 20:27

I can guarantee you in 4 years (or less) your DS will run as fast as he can to get away from him. And you'll be left behind and your relationship damaged. Leave, it's just a house ...

Burrit · 22/10/2020 20:28

Have you told him how you are feeling? I went through a similar stage with my partner and when I discussed with him how I was feeling and told him I would leave if things didn't change he made a very conscious effort to improve his behavour now we have set dates nights etc he gets more involved with the kids, I'm not excusing his behaviour but he genuinely might not realise he's doing it or how it's affecting you

Holdingtherope · 22/10/2020 20:39

My son will come with me, it's just a house it's just a house. I need to keep repeating that to myself

OP posts:
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