Shall I tell him not to bother?!

[lollipoprainbow]

Yes it's me again ! Met someone back in a February and we have had a few casual dates, he has been in touch every day since we met. The last week the messages have faded somewhat and when he does message they are not the usual funny, flirty ones anymore. I answer politely but feel like he is only messaging me because he feels he has to! Should I message him and say he doesn't have to message me anymore ?! Feel like it's the slow fade.

Yes. It sounds like it has fizzled out.

I just wouldn’t respond at all... dating these days seems like a minefield.

What I'd do? Don't respond to him at all just let it go. Find someone who is interested don't waste anymore of your time.

So many of us in the same boat atm with slow fading men!

@notsurewhattodo22 maybe it's the time of year ! I

Have you asked him if everything is ok or mentioned that he doesn't seem his usual self? He may have something else going on that is distracting him. I wouldn't automatically assume a slow fade.

@Howdihowhow no I haven't, I don't think he likes the winter and tends to go to bed early most nights. I'm scared to ask to be honest!! , I wonder if he is messaging/met someone else.

Why are you scared to ask him? Personally, I wouldn't waste time worrying about whether someone I'd been on a few casual dates with had met someone else. I'd ask him if something was up and base my decision-making on his response.

@Howdihowhow because I really like him and I know how upset I'd be if he told me there was someone else! Sad I know but however boring his messages are I'm grateful for them.

Are you actually meeting up with this man? Or just messaging? Surely when you see him you can tell how keen he is?

I'd ask if everything is ok.
It's a fairly long time to invest in communication.
He could have something going on and doesn't feel like you are interested.
I wouldn't automatically think he was trying to let it go.
Ask him. At least then you'll know for sure.

I know someone who has had therapy for low self esteem in the past. She is amazingly confident now and in cases like this would send a text saying "hey, you don't seem that interested anymore, shall we call it a day and move on?" - usually they are grateful for a get out clause adn she has saved herself a lot of heartache.

Wasting time on someone not interested means you are missing out on someone that may well be.

Good luck!

Are you actually still meeting up? I think it’s pretty normal for things to fizzle out if you’re only texting each other, to be honest. If you’ve only had “a few dates” you’re basically still strangers and there are not so many “how are you today?” and “what are you up to this weekend?” messages you can send to somebody without it getting a bit tedious.

Agree with previous poster who said just to message saying it feels like he’s lost interest and if that’s the case then all good and let’s move on. There’s no point second guessing each other. After all, you say you answer “politely” so you’re hardly setting things on fire yourself, are you??

@Chamomileteaplease we have been meeting very casually last time was last weekend and we always have a laugh together, he seemed ok when he left he said 'see you soon' which in my experience is always suspect ! But then we never make firm plans to meet again usually anyway. Since then his messages have slowed down.

If a man is interested in you he will make you aware of it. If he doesn't make concrete plans, says vague phrases like 'see you soon' instead of actually planning the next date and sends you half-hearted messages it is a strong indicator that he is not interested.

Find someone who is as excited to date you as you are to date them.

Just communicate!

You’re adults