Pushing political beliefs on a 4 year old

[heisabusive]

Is it abusive to push your political and religious views on a child? My daughter's dad doesn't parent her (wash her, feed her, clothe her, read to her, homework etc) but he thinks its acceptable to push his nutty ideas on to a 4 year old. She has little comprehension of what he's on about, but the only time he talks to her is when he wants to push his views. She is also not allowed to celebrate western holidays now, although we did before. She's looking forward to Christmas and he wants to ruin it. He has adopted these new ideas, and it seems like he has nobody else to talk to, or people just don't want to hear his nonsense so he's using my child as some kind of springboard to let off steam?

Why can't he just parent her and leave this bollocks until she's old enough to understand? I feel like he's trying to control what she thinks.

Are you still in a relationship? If not I would be more concerned about the lack of basic parenting than him imposing his political views. 4 yo children needs to be fed and cleaned but they don't much care about politics. If she is with you she will still get to celebrate Christmas surely?

Well, we certainly talked about politics to our DDs at that age. That's pretty normal, as long as it's age appropriate. I'd focus on the lack of decent parenting, to be honest - he sounds like a disaster area.

Not celebrate western holidays? So what is he proposing? Where is he getting this all from?

If he isn't washing or feeding her, presumably she doesn't stay with him when she sees him? So the time for pushing these views must be limited?

Every child is exposed to their parents' political and religious beliefs. It's part of family life and impossible to avoid talking about what you believe until they are "old enough".

But pushing those beliefs to the exclusion of anything else, including basic care, is concerning.

You refer to this man as your daughter's dad, so I assume you aren't in a relationship and living together. In which case, there's not much he can do to ruin Christmas is there? Especially if he has little involvement with her as you say. Just carry on as usual.

We do live together. I don't consider our relationship as valid because he calls me nasty names and other stuff.

Ah - that and your name. There’s a whole lot going on there then.

So how will you and your daughter celebrate Christmas? Can you go to family and leave him to it?

If your relationship is not ‘valid’ why don’t you end it?

There is only one way for all this to stop and that os for you to leave him. I would contact Woman's Aid and start making plans so that neither you nor your DD can be abused by him any further.

This sounds like religion more than politics.

Do you need to get some help OP? Woman’s aid?

Its political. Not religious, but I know the two can overlap.

I'm staying because I'll end up homeless. I cantata afford to leave.

Hes very aggressive in what he says. He cant seem to get HIV point across without instilling fear in to us.

He sounds unwell.

What kind of politics are we talking? There are people you can report extremism (of all shades) to.
Could you speak to Women's Aid? It sounds as though you need help in general.

If you choose to stay then there is little anyone can do to help you. He will continue to be abusive and things will likely escalate to the point he his seriously harming you and your DD, whether that be emotionally or physically. For the sake of your DD please consider speaking to Woman's Aid in the first instance to see if they can help you.

As others say, is this within the bounds of a normal parent raisIng their familyvaccording to their beliefs? Or are you talking about extremist views and dangerous political opinions - banned groups for example?
If the latter, and your daughter is at school or nursery, you could raise concerns there. All childcare settings are trained in the Prevent strategy to recognise when a child or young person is in danger of radicalisation.

'If you choose to stay' that's a tricky statement, Apollo. It's not always easy.

OP, on a serious note, if your partner is abusive, you can find support. Speak to your GP, your family if you can, friends if you can, and a women's refuge. I know it will probably be a very, very difficult challenge, and if you can't do it just now please think about it for the future.

I have a feeling that your partner is anti-capitalist am I right?

I think you've made a positive step in sharing your problem here. It may seem scary but the best think you can do for you and your DD is get out. Do not give him warning but try to put thins in place before you leave. Contact Womens Aid and speak to someone IRL who can give you practical support.

Not anti-capitalist. He's anti-European.

Why are you still with him? She's 4, you can work and/or claim benefits. But there's nothing wrong per se with expressing political views to your kids, mine came on no Iraq war rallies in their double buggy, there were always thousands of small kids there so they had a great time

My god OP that sounds horrendous!
Maybe cut contact with him and let her discover the eejit for herself when she's an adult should she so wish.

It sounds like radicalisation.

@AwaAnBileYerHeid

It sounds like radicalisation.

I too wondered if that was what OP is alluding to.