Need to leave DP financial abuse

[Sadxoxo]

DP has been financially abusive since we got together I was 18 got pregnant at 20 and had DD.
DP refused to put my name on the house (we were engaged) saying I flirted with other men and he wasn't sure if he could trust me. He kicked me and DD out when she was 3 I got into debt trying to furnish the house he then asked me back being a stupid girl I took him back fast forward I'm 27 and my career is picking up we still haven't married DP says cause he's not sure he can trust me, he owns 2 houses has a good job 6 figure salary he wont let me pay the mortgage so I can have some financial security. Says it's his house and I haven't proved he can trust me I want to leave now it's all lies he says things to string me a long my credit rating is shot from when he kicked me out the first time.

I want to leave and have my own home but I'm not sure where I can go. I'm in debt he's not violent but he is so controlling I couldn't see it before I can now.

Contact womens aid.
Financial abuse is still abuse.

Make a plan of what you need to do to get yourself in a position to leave.
For example saving for rent and bond.
Speak to close friends/family about storing furniture with them so you can start getting free ir cheap bits to furnish your new home.
Plan your exit carefully so that he is not going to be around.
Don't even hint that you are leaving. I say this next bit not to scare you OP but just so you stay safe. Most abusers become the most dangerous when the victim try to leave.
Write all of the things he's done you down and everytime he asks you back read it.

Good luck

He sounds awful, so sorry that you and your dd are having to live like this

It is great that your career is picking up! How much of your salary are you able to save each month? Is your salary enough that you would be able to rent? If not, do you have family or friends who you could move in with temporarily while you get back on your feet?

I echo the above that you should contact Women's Aid and also Shelter who can advise you on housing and leaving your abuser safely. There is also the following:

National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247. Financial abuse is recognised by them as domestic abuse btw. This is run in partnership with Women's Aid and Refuge.

Assuming you are in the UK, I want to add that it is also an option to apply for a council house by declaring yourself homeless, the council will recognise the need to flee an abuser as legitimate. This is a step that the above organisations will be able to give you more info about

I earn approx 30k now which is a big deal to me as I never thought I'd get to this stage but my credit rating is shot because of trying to pay for things when he threw me out. I've paid off my car and slowly paying the debt off.
When I mentioned about paying the mortgage he said just keep paying the food bills/ council tax which when I pressed about wanting some financial security he started shouting and going mad saying it was his house and mortgage.

He doesn't see us a family and I've had enough I want to go but yeah my credit rating is shot and I'm slightly embarrassed.

Are you saying you'll have problems getting a property to rent because your credit score is bad? Could your parents be a guarantor for you or could you put your name down on the council list?

How much access do you have to documents, bank accounts etc.

I think you might have a bit of a case. See a solicitor to find out.

Gather every shred of paperwork for you and DC. Rent as soon as you can and gradually start moving stuff. Did you buy any of your current furniture? Don't buy anything new. Look on Facebook, charity shops etc. You can replace later.

I lived with old old furniture until my 40s. It was comfortable and suitable.

Go see a solicitor. You’re right to want to leave. His behaviour is disgusting. If he’s on a six figure salary, type that into the CMS calculator to see what you will be entitled to. You’ll also be entitled to child benefit and other single parent benefits. You don’t have to live like this

To the best of my knowledge you would have no legal interest in the house(s) even if you did pay the mortgage as you are not married and your name isn't on them. Simply making a payment doesn't qualify for anything. I don't think even having a dependent child would affect this. I'd suggest you clarify this with a solicitor if you are seriously considering trying to make some sort of claim against the house(s).

Is there any way you have family who could take you in until you can get your credit in better shape? Either that or who would cosign as a guarantor?

Do you have any joint finances with him? If so, you need to separate out your own money asap.

He's not just financially abusive. All this 'I don't know if I can trust you' bullshit is emotionally abusive too.

Have you got family you could stay with?