I hope I never get a crush again

[Haribocokebottle]

Back end of summer (August) a man working near my house started lighting up when he saw me. Flirting with Me. Offered to buy us all breakfast when he told me he wanted bacon and I said so do I now. (Feel free to puke) but he literally had me all in a twirl. Shouting over. Complimenting me to the women over the street.

Ive spent 7 weeks pining like a puppy. Searching for him on facebook (call me a stalker if you will) but I can't find him. The last time I saw him he looked like he was going to come over. He was smiling and by himself for once. He looked at me for ages but then suddenly turned and didn't bother. I was in the garden with my toddler.

Only seen him once since then to say hi. His eyes lit up and he asked me if i was alright.

A week ago he was outside with loads of blokes working. I didn't go out and that was his last day on the job. My time has run out.

I have been so up and down over this man. Which is probably ridiculous. But I can't remember the last time I felt this way. I felt so sure he was decent and wanted to get to know me. I am early 30s and I'm guessing he's early 40s. So I thought maybe he will be good for me. Older. Maturer etc.

I've gone through every emotion. Dancing around the kitchen with music on. Feeling flat when he's not there. Telling myself I don't actually want him to lying awake at night thinking how can I get around approaching him.

Considered ways to leave my number for him. But I chickened out. There's still others from his team working there but I just can't bring myself to be so forward.

Anyway on Wednesday I had a good cry. Accepted it's not a thing. I created it in my head.

Slowly over the last 4 days I've got over the painful part. But now I just feel abit afraid to think about it. It's too painful. I don't know why but the season changing just makes me feel abit worse. Everything is cold and dull.

I literally had no control over how I felt. I didn't want to feel how I did.

I just wanted to share incase anyone else is miserable over a crush lol. I see why the name is crush now.

I definitely hope I never catch silly feelings again.

Gosh Mumsnet users have to much time on their hands. How do people invest in other people and their posting habits to this extent. Who cares if the op has written it before. Who cares about the details. You don't get a prize for being a detective.

Op! Crushes are rubbish. We've all been there. I once had it bad for a man actually working at my house. So he was in my home for two weeks. I got over it completely in a few months. Luckily these things don't last forever.

I agree with the person above about if he is from the traveller community it could be a little complex, plus it might not be something you'd want to get involved with.

I know two women who have married travellers though and have long term marriages and children.their relationships are balanced despite the different backgrounds. They have been accepted and if anything the men are quite modern. They live in houses and their children are at school and wear the same clothes as any other child. They are not overly traditional or anything. The only thing was one of the women had just qualified to be a midwife and gave it up. She lived in a caravan for years. They had four kids. Now they live in a house and run a landscaping company together. So it can work out.

It does sound like it's time to let this one go though. It's alot of agro emotionally when he didn't approach you any further.

But don't feel stupid for your feelings. It's only when you are in the thick of it that you understand how painful they can be. But unfortunately it's creating a fake life in your head. It's easier to imagine meeting up and things and kissing them. But just tell yourself he might be really awful in real life. Picture him having a poo and think of his mucky work clothes. It might make your feel better.

Sorry your post got jumped on. There are spies on here I'm afraid they don't miss anything. Like the busy bodies that know everyone's routines in the street

@Floradoras So you are a Mumsnet user..take it you have a lot of time in your hands then ?

No not really. I don't keep track on strangers posting habits. You either offer kind advice or at least helpful advice or move on. Why do people think that they have the right to try and embarrass a poster or make someone feel stupid or small. If people want to post twice and word things differently for further advice then let them. Maybe the op wanted further support rather than people accusing her of something else.

I'm sure you don't enjoy being picked at when you have a problem. Plenty of people have crushes, affairs etc. There is a relationship forum so people can talk about these things.

So yes people who focus that heavily on a poster have too much time to spare. Stop winding yourself up over a stranger's choices

He was probably married, hence never coming over for a chat.

Floradoras

Totally agree.